Update for the last few months....

so I know I have been nonexsistant on this blog for the last few months, and the reason is because work has been so busy, and because I simply felt like I didn't have much to say on this blog, or I had too much to say that I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about.

sure there is so much that I want to write about, there have been many good times that my mom and I have had over the last several months, like going to the movies, and doing things with a friend in our ward, but I guess there has been no time to blog that stuff.

and halloween which was about a month and a half ago, that I would have loved to written about, but that too has come and gone like the wind. time is flying all too fast, way too fast for me to even be able to enjoy it.

this is my 5th year working in retail during the holiday season, and I am telling you, I am getting tired of it. it is getting a little old, because I can't sit back and enjoy what these holidays are all about. and I can't enjoy these months, instead they fly by and I am left sitting here wondering what happened to september when we are at the begining of november, or even december, it is crazy what happens when a person works in retail.

I recently started seeing a counselor to help with the different things that I am dealing with in my life, and today I just have to say that from talking to my counselor today, and talking about my grandma a little more, it sure helped. it helps to talk about that stuff, to have someone listen to you, no matter how long it has been that we have lost someone in our lives, it does not get any easier with time, it just gets bareable, but we still miss them. I think that talking about my grandma helped me recognize even more what a special time I had with here, when the other grandkids could have had that much time with her too.

I love my grandma, and will always remember her during this special time of year and always.

I will do an update a little later on me, and the few things we have going this week. we have some fun things planned.

Have a great day!!!

what I have been up to lately.....

so I realize I have not updated since my last post, but I will get there, eventually when I feel like it and have time....it is just that I have gotten so far behind on blogging and that these past few months have just gotten away from us.

this past weekend we celebrated my 24th birthday which was a blast! we just had a small party, but all the people I enjoy being around were able to be there, and my dad was able to even be there. I just wish I had some pictures on my computre from my party. I had such a great day on the 20th, it was a wonderful day! I got a lot of wonderful things that I have been using since then.

I received a new electric mixer with a bowl from my mom and some new cupcake cook books to use, which I have used to the fullest already! I just hope I don't wear the pages out too fast... :)

since I got my new cupcake cookbook I have made three recipes out of it, and they have all been a success! my next thing to try is frosting with my new mixer, and see if it does well with that!

also on my days off from work I go over to our friend teresa and wade's house and help teresa with her kids, and I was over there this weekebd helpng with sweet william. he is such a doll, I just think he is a cutie :) he is almost three months old, and is such a good baby.

Ashley is getting so big, and she is so cute, she looks so much like teresa! she is a total doll! it is fun spending time with these two little ones, and playing with ashley....she sure does keep you on your toes!

here are some pictures over the last little while that I have taken of both ashley and william....











I hope everyone hs been having a great summer!

Neurologist Appointment

today I had an appointment with my neurologist up at Primary Childrens Medical Center, right now I am a little too tired to write everything and am not feeling so well, but I will come back and update this in a little bit.

I found out some news that I am kind of unsure of what to think of, but in the end I know eveything will all work out :)

My Kitty....Bobbi

so let me clarify a few things, I know I haven't been the nicest to my kitty and I teased her quite a bit. and I may have somplained or said that she was a pain, but I have had my kitty for 11 years and I have nver been one full day without her....but today I have been two full days without my kitty.

she went missing on Monday Morning, and my mom hasn't seen her since, and I haven't seen her since sunday night, so it has been three days since I have seen my kitty.to say I miss my kitty is a HUGE understatement, I miss her terribly.

and to make things worse, she dissappeared one year to the day of my grandma passing away...so I am really having a rough time. I miss my kitty so bad, I wish I could find her, or find out what happened to her.

tonight my mom and I put posters in our neighborhood to make people aware, so hopefully we will hear something soon...if not I am going to really freak out!!

we have looked in every space imaginable in this house and my kitty is truely no where! it breaks my heart.....where ever she is, I hope she is okay. I love my kitty so much and I miss her a TON! if someone took her, please return her to me...that's all I ask!









I LOVE YOU KITTY....I HOPE YOU ARE SAFE AND WARM WHERE EVER YOU ARE, AND PLEASE COME BACK!

An Amazing Sunday once Again......

you know I just have to keep record of these wonderful sunday's that my mom and I have in our ward, we have the most wonderful ward of people and people we can call friends. they are such great people and we meet new faces each week, my mom and I go home and just hope that we can remember their names the next week.

there is this cute, sweet, little old lady in our ward, her name is sister shivaleyae(I know I didn't spell that out right)it is pronounced ( sha- valley-aeee)she always talks about how she is a wonderful listener or people would say she is a wonderful listener.

today our lesson was on talents, and there was a variety of talents in that room from musical talents to baking, to sewing, to organizing, to sports, etc....it was so neat to hear everyones responses...today was an amazing day.

(Pictured below is Paul Cardall at one of his previous concerts, this is to illustrate a musical tallent as I have listed above in my post) since I do not have a picture of me playing, he is the next best thing.... :)





I woke up at 7:30 AM and was ready by 8:15 or so, at least half ready, then I finished after my mom was ready so then we were a little behind schedule, maybe next week we will actually both be ready at the same time! that is the only thing about 9:00 church, is that to both be ready by 9:00 is sometimes a stretch, but it does happen...and it can happen, and it will happen. if there is a will there is a way.

so next week, I know it is going to be a good week, and we are going to be on time!

have a wonderful week everyone :)

Going to our Church....

so for almost the past mmonth my mom and I have been attending our ward every sunday. I have to say it is the best ward I have seen yet! we have some of the greatest people there in that ward. they are amazing people that make you feel welcome and loved, and accepted.

every sunday just seems to get better and better, every lesson is always a great one. and the teacher who teaches it is always wonderful! I wish I could have this experience everyday in my life all the time!

one thing I do know is that by reading my scriptures and praying daily I can become closer to heavenly father and feel of the spirit of the holy ghost, and feel of that presence when I am not at church. and do kind things for others throughout the week to make me feel good.

oh and I forgot to add that our building was dedicated today in a combined sacrament meeting with one other ward which was so amazing! it was the most wonderful experience today! I wish everyday was this good! oh and today I took my tithing to the bishop of our ward for the first time!

we read a little bit from doctrine and covenants today, and here is a verse I would like to leave you with about service. it is D&C 81:5 Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the febel knees.

I would encourage you this week to go and do something good for someone and be an example to others around you.

have a wonderful week!

Lindsay Dean Passed Away.....

pictured above is lindsay at age 3

so far all of you who know me, I follow quite a few heart kiddo's blogs. well last friday the 17th of june, two days before fathers day lindsay suffered a seizure which led to cardic failure and she returned to heaven on the evening of the 17th.

please pray for the difficult time that their family is having. a few days after lindsay passed away her grandpa also passed away, so their family is dealing with a lot of loss right now. if you would like to help out with funeral costs you may go to lindsay's blog at http://lindsaysheart.blogspot.com and click on the "donate" button to the right hand side of the screen. they could use all the help they can get.

as her mom had just gotten out of the hospital that week, so their family is dealing with a huge medical bill overload right now. they could use a lot of extra prayers for some time..

St. George Trip......

so this past weekend around my grandma's birthday we went to st. George. it was such beautiful weather up there, and we had such a fun time up there enjoying it!

we spent a lot of time outside, and got some sun. I spent some time in the pool and hot tub. it was a blast! they water was so refreshing, especially on the second day in the pool.

we shopped at a ton of stores, and had a fun shopping spree of our own (which we never get to do at home) so we enjoyed ourselves that weekend while we had the chance.

we so did not want to have to come home. I got skme cool new clothes which I love! and I have loved wearing! now it is getting too warm for the pants I bought and they might be too big for me by winter, we will see :)

but at least they are one more pair that is long enough for me until then.

my mom and I had such a blast, we so did not want to come home. when we were driving home we drove home it 100 miles of rain which was really bad, and a nerve wracking ride, and drive for my mom since the drivers in utah either speed in the rain, and ride your butt because you are going a safe speed, and they don't care that you are being safe, or they speed and go off in the ditch and therefore create rubber necker drivers in the rain....lovely! so that is what we dealt with some of the way home.

over all we had a blast and so were not looking forward to coming back to reality, and our real lives back home.

we are for sure going to go visit there again, or even better we are going on a bigger trip later this year!

Concert, Inventory and More

since my last post things have been pretty busy around here, and around work. at wal-mart we were getting ready for inventory which happened on May 12th. I am so glad it is finally all over with...it was a lot of hard work to prepare for. I find myself still straigtening and reorganizing things from the left over mess that the overnight people did during that time. but at least I know my way of doing things is the correct way to do them!

before inventory I had the opportunity to go to a benefit concert with my mom that paul cardall was hosting for his cousin who just received a double lung transplant not too long ago. it was an amazing night! my mom and I had a great time! we had the chance to hear from a variety of musicians, polished, and new. we heard from a 15 year old girl who was just being introduced by paul cardall who lives in lehi, utah. and one other young woman.

this concert was so much fun, with the variety of music that was there that night. it was an amazing night. my mom and I wished there would have been more of paul but it was still great hearing all the wonderful music, and just being able to sit back and enjoy it for an evening.

especially since I knew I was going to have a somewhat overwhelming week ahead of me. I wish I had pictures to show for that night but I don't it was a blast though!

Test results are in.....

so today I called and left a message for my GI doctor this morning for them to call me back with my test results. then I found out they had called my mom, so they I called them back again, and I got the nurse who helps my doctor, and she said that I have no mini gallstones, which is a good thing....but, I do have fluid in my abdomen, and we do not know what is causing that. ti could be a bad thing. she also said that my hip pain could be because of cysts on my ovaries, but right now my hip pain is not my concern.

as far as I am concerned, the fluid in my abdomen is no good, and the pain in my hips should not be happening either, so what does this mean??? well we really don't know..but maybe more doctors appointments in our future!

my shunt could be having a problem, or my liver could be having issues (I looked that one up)it is a possability, and a few others, but until we get to the right doctor we won't know for sure what is causing the fluid in my abdomen....just one more thing we have to figure out!

I am still having hip pain and abdominal pain, so until we get this figured out I am sure it will be hanging around....

I just want to feel better! that's all I want. one day!! at least we are one step closer to getting things figured out, thats a plus!

I will post a little later tonight. we have a concert we are going to and then I have more I want to write about on a different topic.......

have a wonderful night!

MRCP/MRI Done!!!

a few days ago I called Jordan Valley Hospital and was able to get my MRCP moved up a few days early since I have been in so much pain, and today proved itself to be no easier on the MRI table.

the first hour of being in the tube I was in such great pain that when they were done with the first set of tests they suggested coming back a different day and doing the tests. they went and got my mom and we talked it over and I went to the bathroom to take a small break, and then came back and finished the second half of the test. I was just sobbing before I got up to go to the restroom because I was hurting so bad. I just can't wait to figure all of this out!

so then I came back and felt better, but then as the second set of tests went on I started feeling that burning feeling in my left hip again and I started to get uncomfortable, but not to the point to where I was in tears, but pretty close!

so today when I was on the MRI table, I saw a familiar face, and I told this lady I recognize you, you took care of my fragile grandma while she had her MRI down here in the hospital I went on to tell her that she was 80 and little, and she said oh yeah you guys had the big family. and it just brought tears to my eyes that she remembered my family, and my cute grandma. I wish I could have told her what happened to my grandma, but we couldn't get that far, and I wish I would have gotten her name, but of course I didn't she was so wonderful though!! I just loved her!!

so I posted this excerpt on facebook earlier today "So today I was taken care of by one of the wonderful MRI techs at Jordan valley hospital who took care of my grandma while she was there! It was so nice to see a familiar and sweet person there :)" and one of my friends from facebook replied to that post and said that she works at Jordan Valley hospital and is the director over the HR department and she could recognize this technician for her wonderful service. she was happy to hear that I was so well taken care of there.

I had a great experience today, wither I was in extreme pain or not, I know my grandma was watching out for me, because the technician that helped her helped me too! it was the most amazing and pleasant experience I had today, besides the check-in person who needed a personality transplant horibly!! but other than that my whole experience was wonderful :)

Gallstones......AGAIN!!!

so last night I experienced more of a sleepless night like I did the night before because o my back pain. today I went into my GI doctor, and told him my syomptoms I was having and he felt arond in my upeer rib cage area and all around my abdomen and didn't feel anything abnormal.

he did say that after some one has had gallstones, especially a big one like I have had that they are sometimes likely to get little ones in the bile duct, and in the liver, so that is why I could be in so much pain all over. I guess it only makes sense!

so I am going to call on monday and schedule yet another MRI for my liver, to be checked out, and i the mean time I am just going to take my pain pills he gave me when I need them. this is just crazy! I thought I was truely done with gallstones!

then the next thing we have to figure out is my throat! so we will make an appointment to see my ENT doctor soon. these appointments never end, one year I will be like a finely tuned piano and everything will work as it is supposed to! altogether!!

so there we have it, an answer to something, now we just have to get the for sure answer, and then take care of it and hope that I never get them again! so I am going to get my MRI scheduled for May 12th since I am off that day, and then we will see what that test show, then we will go from there for our next plan of action....

I just want to feel good and for one day have something not hurt, I know one day that is going to happen. one day in my near future! I am just getting tired of feeling this way. mainly in my stomach or side! would be nice!!

update on work and more

so I haven't updated this for a little bit, this week started off not very good, and things have evened out. I just hope to see some improvements. towards the end of the day on monday I had some shirts sitting in a basket by the fitting rooms and I was helping a department manager with her shirts she needed clearanxce stickers put on. anf our ZMS walks up to me and says are you going to hang these shirts? and I told her that I went to find hangers but couldn't find any so she took my drinks out of the cart and zoomed off with it and didn't say anothe word, rude jerk!!!

so by this time I had 5 minuteas left of y shift and I grabbed my things and walked to the back with tears filling my eyes, and I walked by the managers office, and my favorite assistant manager happened to be in there,, her name is TJ, and she is so nice. so I sat down with her and asked her if she had a few minutes, and in the mean time my favotire ZMS walks in, her name is Jen, she is so kind, so they both listened to what I had to say and they said they would talk to carolyn and see if they couldn't get things solved.

I also want to see about getting in a different depazrtment, because I am so tired of how I get treated over there. it is like everyone else gets away with everything, but once I am there there are major problems!

a while back I had a fellow co-worker of mine ask me why I am so quiet, and I simply aswered i don't know because a certain person was standing near by, so of course I couldn't tell her the real reason. but there are a few people I won't open my mouth around, and so I just don't talk, and she is always around those certain few people or those certain few people are always around her, so I don't like to say much until after they are gone.

on a totally different subject, there is a little boy that I have been follwing his blog, his name is skyler. I have been inspired by him and many others to want to volunteer at a hospital, so I went online to see which hospitalks had open oportunities for volunteering, and ther primary childrens riverton location does, so I applied there and I am just waiting to hear back from them. I hope that I can get on with them and gain an understanding as to what goes on inside a hospital so I can do that one day for my permanent profession.

so I wait and seee....also I contacted a lady about service projects for primary childrens for down town salt lake city, and I am currently waiting to hear back from her, and get the information in the mail so I can get that wonderful service project going. I am headed in the right direction of what I want to be doing as far as helping people as best I can until I get to where I really want to be one day, it's truely amazing how I feel from contacting these people and I hope I can go further...

I will post more when I have heard back from the lady at primary childrens.

until then...have a great day!!!

Acid Reflux Issues

so tonight I just have overall not been feeling the greatest. my head doesn't feel right, and I have been clearing my throat nonstop! this is really getting old!

I have a bad feeling as to what is happening in my body, because it seems that with doubling my dose of dexilant things are not getting better, and I am having new symptoms, such as a dry cough.

I am judt really getting tired of not having an answer to anything, or a solution to this problem! it is really getting frustrating!!

tonight I ate dinner, which seemed to take longer than normal because I had to clear my throat so mmuch, then after that I took my pills and drank some stuff and I fwelt like I had to burp, so I tried and some of my milk came back up, not all the way but it started to. this is all caused by the acid refulx, and LPR.

I just want to feel good!! I don't know when that day is ever going to get here. lately I have been having pains in my spine, and in my left side in my lower abdomen, and in my hip, and part of my back area. mainly in my hip and abdomen area though, and my spine feels weird about half way down everytime I bend to grab something off the floor, or below eye level, it really is getting old!

oh and I wake up with a sore throat every morning, as a matter of fact my throat is sore right now, and I just don't feel the best I could feel.

I really would like to know what is causing all of these issues. as far as I know the last time I heard we got my GERD symptoms under control, and I no longer have gastritis, but now I have this other issue, and it is getting way old!!

maybe one day I will have everythingall figured out and I will be on the road to recovery and feeling better!

Moab Trip/ My Mom's Birthday

so this weekend we actually had soething fun that we have had planned for a long time, and I have been looking forward to it so much! my mom and I went to moab for the weekend for her birthday, and it was so much fun! we went to arches national park, and saw many beautiful mountains, and arches!

then on my mom's birthday we went to a dinner before we drove home. it was so much fun, and the people in moab were so kind, even the people in the last resturant we went in. we also did some shopping this weekend along the streets of moab which was a blast! I so enjoyed every minute of this trip and so did not want it to end!

the rocks and mountains we saw up there were just breath taking.....here are some pictures from our trip.



my mom and I at the entrence at the Aches National Park







after the trip home I had a few presents for my mom to open, and she LOVED them. I can't wait for her to use the new pan I bought her. we are going to use it tonight! then I bought her a bracelet and a necklace that have a heart charm on the end of them. they are very beautiful! I will have to get a picture of her in them.

we had such a great time, and her birthday was so much fun! what a great day it was!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU!!

Test Done.....Just waiting for results.....

so this morning my mom and I were on our way to my doctors appointment, and I have to say that the drive there was entertaining, the drivers were all slow as usual, and we were trying to get there fast to make in there on time...and my mom had this chect in the back of her car that had ice melted in the back of it, well at one point traffic was stopped so she had to hit her breaks, and the chest when flying, and poured out all over the seat of the car. so I had to reach back and grab what was back there and make sure it didn't get wet, then move the chest in a better spot so it didn't move again. and I was trying not to laugh, because I knew my mom was not thinking it was too funny since her back seat was now full of water (which I cwertainly don't blame her) but it was the situation that I was laughing at not the fact that we had half the water spilled on the back seat, and all over everything.

so then we go to my doctors appointment to a lady that was almost like a former co-worker of mine who was not too friendly this morning, and kind of a loud mouth person. so I filled out the paperwork and was sent bck to put on my lovely hospital gown for the test.

then I went back to the room where they had the table for the test and waited while they got the stuff ready for me to drink...which did not taste too bad, I thought it was going to taste a lot worse!

so I was laying on one of these tables.....



or should I say standing, and they moved it and angled it as I drank the different cups of barrium they gave me, it was very interesting, and at times I felt a little pressure and at times I felt like I needed to burp. which they did let me burp at one time, but it wasn't like a big one, just a little one because of the little air bubbles inside of me.

oh and I might add that while I was drinking the dtuff the radiologist asked me why I was clearing my throat, and I was thinking in my mind you are really asking me that question????? so I said that is whay I am here is to figure this out!! and he said nothing! as I was standing on the table still drinking my stuff. I think I made him feel kind of dumb, because he could clearly see I had a problem, and I think I was bugging him, but would I really be in there if I wasn't clearing my throat that bad????

OR maybe they should have people over the age of 30 working in there who don't ask questions about the patients issues!! it really bothered me, and I think if I have some one ask me how their service was, or if I get something in the mail about that I am going to comment on that! it was totally rediculous, becaus honestly, all patients are in there for issues, in one form or another, and mine is just visable!! I am sure I am not the ONLY person out there with LPR....man I sure hope they send me a comment card, I am not going to take peoples crap!


so I finished the test in about 30 to 40 minutes and was on my way out the door, and nothing really sounded good to eat. in fact I almost felt like I was going to throw up, but I ate a biscuit from the cafiteria and some hashbrowns...

now to hear back from doctor heiners office and see what they say....

I have done further research into why I may have LPR now, and I have researched the medications I have been on since last september, one of them being prednisone, that is a steroid for asthma and an anti-infmaitory drug and a form of an antirejection drug for some organ transplantions. I was on that last september because of the fire we had in herriman and I could not breath. so I looked up the side effects and sure enough, here is what it listed for the gastrointestinal side effects of the drug, so i know for sure now that it is not my topamax, and that it was this drug because these issues with the throat clearing started really being noticable I think after this drug.

abdominal distention, abdominal pain,anorexia which may result in weight loss, constipation, diarrhea, elevation in serum liver enzyme levels (usually reversible upon discontinuation), gastric irritation, hepatomegaly, increased appetite and weight gain, nausea, oropharyngeal candidiasis, pancreatitis, peptic ulcer with possible perforation and hemorrhage, perforation of the small and large intestine (particularly in patients with inflammatory bowel disease), ulcerative esophagitis, vomiting.

so I believe it was this medication and not my topamax, so we will now just wait for my test results and go from there and decide what to do. my throat has been terrible the last two days, so I do not know what is wrong and I really wish we could figure something out!!! maybe one day we will get this all figured out and my throat will be cured??? just maybe!

well I hope you all are having a great day! I will update again soon!

Dr's Appointment in Place!

so today, after calling my doctors office a few times, and leaving two voicemails for my doctors nurse, I did talk with her, and she did say that my doctor agreed to do the barrium swallow! what do you know, he actually listened to me????

so I go in for my test on the 11th at 9:15 AM, thankgoodness I do not work that day, so I can just go home and rest the rest of the day if I have to if the stuff they are going to give me for the test makes me feel weird afterwords.

I just really hope I have some answers from this test as to why I am clearing my throat (besides it just being the LPR) and having a burning feeling on the left side where my stomach is, and having a pain where my sternum is, and a weird feeling between my breast when I swallow liquids and some types of foods.

I just want answers.....then find the solutions to fix the problems tht have been ongoing.

I just want to feel good, and to feel like a normal person again, is that ever going to be possible???? sometimes I don't think it will ever be possible. maybe one day it will though! and maybe one day I will actually have a doctor that listens to me the FIRST TIME! not the second, third, fourth, or FIFTH TIME! I wonder what dr. heiner will be like when I go to see him in a few weeks, especially if my results come back with something not so good on them. Iam just anxious to see what these results say, so I can have a clearer understanding, and some peace of mind as to what is truely going on inside of my body.

I just hope that by the time I go to see my doctor, I won't want to ring his neck a few times....maybe I will feel more calm, who knows?? but he still thinks I need to go off my topamax, and with him knowing I haven't gone off of it...well I have been through a lot this past month, a cold, and work, and well......my doctor who put me on topamax said that it is not causing any of my issues to he still wants me to continue taking it. so we will see what my GI guy says to all that!

at least my appointment is set, and all I have to do is show up for the test....

I have been taking my dexilant twice a day, and I am still clearing my throat as much and having issues, so I don't think it is helping, but we shall see where I am at in another week!

Frustrated.......

so this is a post where I am going to vent, just a little....not too much, and it is not about work either.....surprisingly, it is actually about my GI doctor that I am really frustrated with!!!

I don't know maybe it's because I am on the lovely thing that every girl goes through every month, but I have no idea, or maybe I am really frustrated because I haven't had the problem solved aince the beginning of time, and I have suggested things to this doctor to do to check for what I have..

so today I was reading on the internet to see what the barrium swallow checks for, and well sure enough is covers the larynx, the esophagus, and the intestine, and maybe one other organ....isn't it interesting, I have suggested that to my GI doctor months ago and he said that wouldn't show anything.

so boy am I going to make a phone call monday morning or what???? because I am now officially ticked, because this issue, WHICH I ADDRESSED MONTHS AGO, AND SUGGESTED THE BARIUM SWALLOW, could have been done, and we could have fould the LaryngopharyngeaL Reflux A Lot SOONER!!! I really wish the doctors would listen to their patients, but my doctor didn't do that, and boy is his nurse going to get a calm, ear full from me, and that is no joke. I will demand that I get the barium swallow, because I suspect that there could be other underlying issues with my esophagus too, trust me I know my body better than my doctor....he doesn't know everything like he thinks he does!! I will just show him in two weeks!!

tonight I did start the double dose of dexilant as my lovely GI doctor suggested, so when I go see him in a few weeks, we shall see if his suggestion worked..or if it didn't to help with the LPR.....

lots of information yesterday.......

yesterday was a good day at work, it was busy, and I got a lot of things done. yesterday when I was on my first 15 minute break I made a call to my GI doctors office, to see if they had received the results from my ear nose and throat guys office, and I got the nurses voicemail, so i left her a message, and she called me back a short time later letting me know that they had received the results, but that doctor heiner had not yet had the chance to look over them yet, so she said as soon as he looks over them she will give me a call back.

well it was after 5:00 that I received a call from my GI doctors office, and the nurse for my doctor was very nice and said that he did see the LPR, and would like me to up my dose of dexilant to one in the morning and one in the evening before I eat and see if that helps. then he wants to see me in a few weeks to see if anything has changed. so I am going to start that tonight, and we will see if he has helpped me yet a gain, no thanks to my ear nose and throat doctor diags=nosing the problem!

also I made a phone call to my neurologist dr, reichert, who is a wonderful guy I think. I left a messae with his front desk people to have him call me because I had a question on my topamax. so I also received a call from him at about 6:20 that evening, and I asked him my questions I had regarding the medication topamax. the questions I had were wither GERD was caused by the topamax, and then my other question was if any of his other patients on topamax have had this side effect, and he assured me that none of his other patients on this medication have had this side effect, and that this is not a side effect of topamax.

I told him that my GI doctor told me he wants me to stop taking topamax, and he said he wants me to keep taking it because it is not causing my GERD, or LPR. I told him that he is the 5th doctor that has told me that it is not the topamax, and so he said then I would have to agree with the other 4. he is so wonderful, and I thank him for always giving me the time I need to talk to him on the phone, HIMSELF!! it really means so much to me to have a doctor call me back themselves!! I really like that and I think that it shows that they really care about their patients.

now if only doctor heiner could learn that from doctor reichert......in my dreams, that is never going to happen. it will be interesting to see how the next appointment with him goes. as soon as I have that appointment I will update. the next option I want to talk to him about, if this lates issue is not resolved in a few weeks is the surgery for GERD, and LPR. I have heard it is a quite successful surgery. so if it comes to that then so be it, but maybe by then things will be fixed for good!!

and who really knows how long these problems have been simmering in my body, perhaps maybe years??? I guess we will never know the true answer to that question....

Newest Update On me........

so I am feeling much better, my cough is gone, my congestion is close to gone, my sore throat is gone.....no more sleepless nights, things are looking up.....somewhat!

so for the past three months I have been clearing my throat constantly, and it hasn't been until recently that I started googling causes for throat clearing and, different other things. and just the other day I came up with Larygopharyngeal reflux, it is a form of acid reflux of the throat and vocal cords, where stomach acids reach all the way to your throat. and so my mom and I went to the ear nose and throat doctor, and he did a test on me after I had described my symptoms to him, and he confirmed that I do have LPN.

so what does this mean? now he says that I should contact my GI doctor about upping my dose of dexilant or getting me on a heavy duty dose or something else in addition to my dexilant...so my mom and I are waititng to hear back from that doctor...but in the mean time, we now have to get the results from the test I had done at my ear nose and throat appointment and have them sent to my GI doctor for them to review to decide what to do next.

so why did my GI doctor miss this months go?? who knows???? very frustrating!!! and I wish I knew the answer to that question....but I don't and right now I am not too happy with him, because this issue could have been solved months ago!!

so my mom and I wait for answers from both sides, and wait to see what my GI doctor says for the next plan of action to be....I wonder if he will say nothing is wrong with me the next time he sees me????

Getting Better!

so today for an early lunch and a late breakfast I ate a salad that my Aunt made a few days ago and brought over for my mom, and I finished it up. it was so yummy! then after that I had chicken and some green bean casserole, and then for dinner I ate not one, not two, but THREE! Chicken tacos that my mom made for dinner tonight....

I will say that today I have eaten more than I have eaten in porbably the last few days. today was a HUGE success! and I can say that I am starting to also feel more better, my coughing is getting to be less and less, and the phlegm is getting to be less and less and my congestion is going away....I am starting to feel semi-normal again...as normal as I can feel inside my own body with a tube inside my head.

I am so glad to say that I am getting over this cold that has had me for about the last month I would say, now if I can just continue eating like I ate today that would be wonderful! because I sure made my mom happy with how I ate. and to say it actually felt good to eat as much as I did. not having an appetite for so long is awful....something that no one wants to experience. I just hope that tomorrow is another good day, I really do, because today was a really good day for eating, and feeling good! today was a great day and if I could live it all over again I would!!

I just love days like today.....we will see what tomorrow brings...I shall go get some sleep now, good night!

I won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts

so today and yesterday I heard this song on the radio and I had to tell you, it is the best song ever! I love it! I love the words to it, I am going to post the words to it, and read them careully.....I just had to share this with you....this made me think of holly, and her husband and the difficult situation that they are currently facing today. please continue to keep their family in your prayers. I encourage you to vheck out her blog http://www.teamholly.com/ and make a donation to help their family out.

this video really touched me, scroll down below to read the lyrics of the song as they are singing it.....totally AMAZING, and spine tingling!








I Won't Let you Go.....

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that

You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
No I wont


I hope you all re having a great weekend....I am still recovering from this bronchitis that I have, but I am getting better, and I am sounding better....so it's progress...if I can just get completely rid of it very soon would be nice! by next saturday would be wonderful!!!

Paul Cardall's Music Video

so the other day I was on my facebook account and paul cardall posted a video of him playing a song titled "life and death" from his new album titles new life. and it was an AMAZING! video! I loved it!!

here it is....



also there is a video clip from the concert on February 14th, of a dedication to holly that I feel I should share...holly doesn't have much time on this earth left, and she is an amazing person with a strong will to fight and live. although I do not know her, she has touched my life.

here is that video...... scroll down to read the words below before watching the video..



what an AMAZING clip, and emotional clip from the concert. this brought tears to my eyes, and tingles up my spine. as you listen, you can hear her crying in the background....very emotional... and I was there on this magical night!!

what an Amazing woman she is...to read more on her story you can go to www.teamholly.blogspot.com, some of her friends have now set up this blog to help with costs of her medical bills, and essentialy her funeral that will be happening in the near future....please continue to pray for her family in this most difficult time that they may be comforted in their greiving when she is not with them. she is growing weaker, so her time is coming soon....

I just had to share this video clip with you from that night, Totally AMAZING!

hit with the unexpected

so before this weekend started (last friday) I started getting a sore throat, and thought that maybe I was just getting strep throat or something.....well my temperature was about 99.4, and I just was not feeling too well. my head was hurting as usual, and so I came home and thought I will just see if it gets worse. well saturday I woke up feeling worse, and I had been starting to get a cough going by then.....

sunday rolls around, and I was coughing up phlegm that was clear, and then we went to the doctors and after we got back from there it turned green....so I know something is wrong inside of me.

I still feel terrible today and have been blowing my nose like crazy, and have been almost ready to cough up one or both of my lungs, I cough so much, and so hard at times. everytime I lay down I start coughing, and everytime I try catching some sleep I start coughing, so what's the use of trying to get any rest?????

I did manage to catch a little nap today earlier, then I went and ate some yummy cream of chicken and mushroom soup for lunch (that was the only thing that sounded good) and I ate the whole can!! then I had a little thing of ice cream, and I have almost drank a whole glass of gatorade!! so we shall see how much more I can eat today!

I was supposed to have an appointment with my neurologist today, but I canceled it due to this terrible and nasty cold I have. hopefully one day I will get feeling better....now I really feel, and literally look like that guy pictured in one of my previous posts. my nose is so raw from blowing it and wiping it so much! oh well! I just hope to get feeling better soon!

so perhaps this is why I have felt so crummy for so long? who really knows?? I guess no one will ever know.....

I just hope I can make it through work tomorrow, that's all I care about, if I feel good enough to go!

Some More People in need of prayers

just a few days ago my mom was at a doctors appointment for some issues she has been having, and the doctor that did the tests on her seemed quite concerned this time around.....so the doctor sent my mom for some lab work, because what they found could be cancerous. so, we should know by tomorrow if what she has is cancerous. if it is I will post a little bit more. and after talking to her I will make sure it is okay that I share that information on this blog. but please keep her in your prayers that the results will show no cancer stuff and tha everything will be fine.

also tonight my mom had an incident at work, and now her esophagus is burning, and I am worried about that, and she said her back hurts and when she swallows stuff it feels like it is stuck in her back. this all happened because of a piece of licerice went down too soon....so hopefully she will feel better in the morning...I just wanted to cry tonight, I know she is scared for tomorrow, and then with that happening and her not feeling well from that episode. I just want to cry. I know that things could be a lot worse, some people have it a lot worse, but these things are still big things, because they are things (especially the first one) is one I have never had to deal with, and neither has my mom.

also, as I have mentioned my neighbors before, their son-in-law has a type of bone cancer that has been fixed, but, recently today I called over to my neighbors house who is the mother of the daughter who has the husband with cancer, and I learned that the cancer is back, and it is spreading to his lungs again. so he will be going in for more chemo and more surgeries soon...please keep them in your prayers, they are melanie and dan....

now, for an update one one person, LINDSAY!! she is getting better! to read more about her, you may click on the link on the side of my blog....this is great news on her....wonderful news!! they have figured out what happened, and to see the detailed post on that you can visit her blog.

and an update on me, my throat has been sore, and I have no idea why, and I can't sneeze, but today my head didn't really hurt too bad it was more of an ache feeling in the back of my head off and on a little bit during the day, but nothing like yesterday at all which was a HUGE BONUS! in my book!! if only my head can hold out a few more days until the 14th when I go to see my neurologist, and we can figure things out.

then we are also going to call the ear, nose, and throat guy and see about getting into him for my throat clearing problem, and see what that is all about, since my GI doctor didn't fix it...so more phone calls to doctors tomorrow.....my mom is calling one and I am calling the other, and then we are going to compare notes on phone calls, this should be interesting to see who can get ahold of which doctor....hopefully we will both have luck!!

tomorrow is back to the old grind, and then I am off on saturday, sunday, and monday!! I love three day weekends, they are the best!!!

have a great night!!

Update on me.......

so this post is kind of a continuation from yesterdays post, you know how I mentioned that things were going to change for the better for me. well my mom and I were talking last night about some changes we want to make happen, and since I have not been in school for so long (COLLEGE) that is I have had a lot of time to think about what I really want to do.

with things not going so well at my job at work, and people being so thankless, I have decided that I want a job in my future where people are going to appreciate the work I do, and where my people are going to love me back. and most of all I want a job that I am going to look forward to going to every day. not everybody can say they look forward to going to their job, but I want one of those kinds of jobs.

I have decided that I want a job in the medical field either working with newborns, or cancer patients, or even ones like lindsay in my previous post, and paul and all the other heart patients out there who are suffering. I have a lot to think about over the next few months, or while as I save up, and my mom and I are getting the funds in order for me to go back to school. but I do know that it is something in the medical field for sure.

I see all these sweet innocent little children in hospitals suffering and it breaks my heart, I wish I could help them so bad. and their parents would be so appreciative to me for helping save their childs life. so I know I want to do it.

I have looked into the Western Governers University and they are by far the cheapest school out there as far as any program goes for what I want to do. so they are the school I am going to stick with. I just wish I would have given this more thought two years ago, and not given the teacher thing so much thought....oh well, at least I have had a lot of time to think now, and save too, that way I don't have to get any student loans either....

anyway that is the update on me, my headache is back today, I knew it was too good to be true, but I am still up and doing stuff around the shouse today because stuff has to get done wither my head hurts or not....and I have the humidifier going in my room, so hopefully that should help, and who knows maybe it will be gome tomorrow????

P.S. Lindsay had her biopsy done this morning on her heart to check for rejection, please pray for no rejection.......results should be in later today hopefully!

Special Prayer Request.....

so there is this little girl by the name of lindsay, who is on the side of my blog list under the title " our gift from god" she is a fellow heart transplant recipient that I have been following, and this week has been a rough one for her. she is in the hospital right now in the ICU, and they are unsure of what may be wrong, but that it could possibly be r ejection of her donor heart, her family will know more after tomorrow morning's tests. please keep her and her family in your prayers this week.....

she is a sweet little thing, if you ever want to read her blog either click on the link on the side of my blog or go to http://lindsaysheart.blogspot.com/ her story is amazing. I have never met her, but she sure seems like it from her blog.

here are a few pictures of lindsay the "princess" as her family calls her....she is adorable!!





also there is another heart patient out there named holly that is not doing so well, who has been denied a heart transplant....we also need to keep her in our prayers too...she may not make it much longer...to learn more about holly you may visit paul cardall's blog which I also have a link to on my side bar....

I have another post coming very soon with another update about me and some changes I want to make in my life, for the better..... today has been a great day and I had no headache at work, and just felt okay, not totally back to 100% yet, but at least my head didn't hurt, that was a bonus for the week!!

not feeling so great.....

so I have been feeling rather crummy for a week or so, amybe longer, and I have been to a few doctors this week, and I have an appoitnment with my neurologist coming up, but I still feel crummy. I have a pain in my chest, and all through out my collar bone area, and occasionally get apain in my sternium area. I just feel plain crummy.

I have just been laying in bed most of the day today. I just feel horrible. my head feels aweful and it hurts to breath. I don't know what is wrong.

when I went to my primary care doctor this week he said that it is probably influenza, and that my lungs looked good, from the x-rays that he did. just yesterday my mom and I looked up all the symptoms of bronchitis and I have all of them. so we are thinking that is what I have, but there is really nothing that can be done for that, other than to rest. but it could turn into pneumonia if it getd worse.

so this weekend I am just staying in the house and resting since I feel so crummy....

where could I have picked up bronchitis you ask? probably from my visit to the emergency room last thursday, who really knows, we have no idea, but all I know is that I just want to get feeling better because I am tired of feeling slugish and like my head is going to blow at some point....

I feel how this guy in this picture below looks.....



although today I have been able to get a few things done around the house, like getting the dishes done, cleaning half of my room, and playing the piano for a little bit. but I am still not feeling so great. so I am going to go reast for a little bit again and see if I can get feeling better again.

I will update again soon....

Scary Episode on Thursday 2/24/2011

so on thursday the 24th I was over at my neighbors house delivering her AVON order to her and I was just visiting with her, and earlier that day I was feeling a bit strange, but I didn't think anything of it. so when I was over at her house, and we started talking and got more into the convrsation my speech got more slurred, and I could not get my words out and my thoughts in my head to come out of my mouth, it was the most scariest experience of my life, I have never experienced anything like it.

so I was heading to the door and she gave me a hug goodbye and I walked home, on my way home my left leg started feeling weird and a bit numb, and weak and I so I went to lay on the couch and I called my mom immediately because I thought that maybe a seizure was coming on, and by this time my speech was still slurred, and a headache had hit and I was feeling terrible.

so then my mom got home, and I was nauseated, and my head hurt, and she had me take some advil, but that didn't help my head. so then later that night we ended up going to the primary childrens ER, with a bunch of other sick children all around me. and I waited for a doctor to come see me, and they did a cat scan and a shunt series and they said that everything looked good. they also gave me some fluids and some medcation for my head, and drew some blood, and then sent me home. but since thursday I have still had this linguring headache.

so, today we went and saw another doctor, and he gave me a prescription to help my head, and it has helped A LOT! after I am finished with the medication I am going to see how my head is then we will go from there, and decide what to do. by then I will have an appointment with my neurologist, and maybe he can schedule me for a spinal tap, because that can show different things with the fluid from my spin and my brain that is caused by my shunt.

so we shall see how this medication continues to help my head, and hopefully my head feels better even after I have stopped the medication. so I don't have to do anymore testing or go to anymore doctors appointments for a while.

that was just a really scary episode on thursday, and one I have never experienced before.

Scope/Colonoscopy Update

this is going to be a long update so you might as well grab something to eat while you are sitting here reading this.

my preparation for the colonoscopy started on the 17th and all I could eat was broth and clear liquids, I think I only had three cans of broth the whole day, it was so disgusting, especially when you are forced to eat nothing else but that for a whole day! then at 5:30 that evening I started drinking the lemon tasting liquid drink for the colonoscopy prep, and let me tell you, as the night went on I started feeling worse and worse. at one point I felt like I was expecting, except there was no bulge poking out of my stomack, just the icky feeling in my stomach and a lot of uncomfortable pains!

then the rest of the night I was in and out of the rest room after that. and I only ended up getting about two hours of sleep tha night because my stomach just kept churning, and I had to keep running to the bathroom. finally I fell asleep at 3:15 AM!!

then my alarm went off at 5:45 AM because I had to be to the doctors at 7:00 AM for my 7:45 procedure. well they called me back at like 7:15, and were getting me preped for the procedure and putting the blood pressure cuf on my arm after I got the nice lloking gown on me, and then they put an IV with fluids in it in my arm, and then they asked me some questions and took my blood pressure before the procedure, which at the time it was 90/60 which is PERFECT! but I was a little worried because I had never seen it that low before, but the nurse didn't seem to concerned, so I didn't say anything more about that. so then they started wheeling me into the operating room and getting everything in the room set up,putting the oxygen cannula on my nose, and getting the Propofol ready for me to be put under while they do the procedure, well while they were doing that and doing other things my blood pressure was being tested and the first time it was 136 over some number, then I felt the blood pressure cuff squeeze my arm again and the reading was 54/63 which would have meant that I was near death. so the nurse went and got someone else while I was laying there, and they came back, and I think dr. heiner came in the room too at the time, but I do remember them saying that they could not do the procedure if my blood pressure was that low, so they undid the blood pressure cuff, and tightened it and then took my blood pressure again and my blood pressure read 110/63, which was completely normal, then they felt like they were okay to put me under and go ahead with the procedure.

the last thing I remember them telling me was that they were going to give me the sleepy medicine, and I told them I could feel myself falling asleep and I was soon out......then next thing I remember was waking up in recovery to my aunt and my mom, boy was I glad to see them after all i had been through in the operating room!

when dr. heiner walked in the room I was not nervous because I knew I was in good hands with him, so I knew that if anything were to go wrong while I was under, I would be taken care of. but I knew that no one would let that happen before I was sedated and put out. I trust doctor heiner completely, and was confident in him. he has always taken care of me during these procedures, as well as my aunt, so I knew there was nothing to worry about and I let him and his nurses do their job while I was falling asleep.

I am now just waiting for the results from the tests, and dr. heiner wants to see me in a few weeks, so we will see what happens at that doctors appointment. but that is my long update on my colonoscopy and scope.....until next time. I hope you all have had a great weekend!

Paul's Amazing Concert!

last night was another night that I did not want to end, it was another AMAZING night filled with all kinds of inspirational music and many inspirational moments! it was wonderful! I could have sat and listened to paul for another 3 or 4 hours that night! he is truely AMAZING!

the best part of the night was that I got to meet him, and get my picture with him. in the picure with him, I am grinning ear to ear, with the biggest smile on my face, it was another best moment in my life. paul is an amazing man, and if there weren't people standing in line I would have asked him if I could have given him a big hug. he is truely AMAZING! I know I keep saying that, but he is. his talent is so wonderful, and very inspirational, and for him to share it with so many people is AMAZING.

he released his new album called "new life" tonight, and even played a few songs from that beautiful album. if you have heard it, you know what I mean, it was BEAUTIFUL! I enjoyed every minute of that concert as well as my mom did, she loved it! we both didn't want it to end.

we got to go and meet paul cardall after the concert, and boy, what an AMAZING person he truely is. I know I have said that already in this post, but he is truely AMAZING. he is the most humble, and down to earth guy you will ever meet. what a wonderful person he is. I never knew he ws so great until I got to meet him last night. I always knew he was humble though, from what he has been through in his life. he was so kind, and was in no rush with me, which I thought was great!

here are a few pictures from tonight......







below is a picture of him up on stage alone after he received a standing ovation from the crowd and he played at least two more songs. I can't remember which song he was playing at this point, but I do know it was beautiful!



here he is signing my that I bought of his titled "before my heart stops"



and last but not least, here is a picture of Paul and I after the concert! when I finally got to meet him. as you can see I was pretty excited, and I had a grin on my face that went from ear to ear.....



what a fun night this was, and I will always remember it, thank you paul for such a great evening! thank you mom for the fun night together, I sure enjoyed the concert with you!

the best night of my life.........

I have to say that through this week, last night was the most, humbling and most spiritual experience I wish you all could have experienced. I wish I could say so much about it, but due to confidentiality reasons in my mom's behalf as well as the other people in this thing I can't but, what I will say is there was one point in the program for the night that was truely AMAZING and brought tears to my eyes, the people of this program, including my mom are AMAZING!

there is a song that was played that is sung by celien dion called "A new day has come" yesterday was a new beginning for so many people. I encourage you to find that song if you don't have it and seriously lister to every word in that song. if you could have experienced what I experienced what I experienced yesterday you would have the same feelings about that song that I have now today, every time I hear that song, it brings tears to my eyes.

here is the video below...



yesterday was an amazing day, and I am so glad I could be a part of it to support my mom through the whole process of things she had to go through. she is one AMAZING person and I love her so much!

this song will forever have a whole new meaning and a whole new impact on my life, I loved it before this, but I love it even more now.

today has been a wonderful day, my mom and I slept in until after 12:00, and we have been listening to music, and having the best visit ver all day long, and we even got a few naps in today! it has been a wonderful day! tomorrow is going to be just as fun! we are so excited for paul cardall's concert tomorrow, we are beyond thrilled!

have a great night!

my thoughts for the week

so this week my mom has had this thing she is doing, and has been gone all day for the past few days. I miss seeing my mom a lot. although it is nice to surprise her with little things for when she comes home.

I am finally on my much needed vacation away from work, although not too much of it is going to be thrilling. today on my fisrt day of vacation I have just been cleaning, and doing things around the house. I have gotten a lot done. the last thing I have to do is my room! amd it is actually almost complete, my bed is made, I just have the floor to clean.

today I got the mail because my aunt said there was something in there for me, and I found the surprise in there for me from her, but I also found a letter from my dad. it was very difficult to read his letter, it was a thick one, and he listed things we would do when he gets ut of the place he is in, and I just don't feel he is going to live up to his word. he has let me down so much before, and it hurts. so it was kind of dissapointing to read it, because I havem't seen him change yet.

other than that my day has been great, I have gotten so much accomplished, and I hope to get my room done tonight, that will be a great feeling! the best feeling ever! at least I get to climb into a made bed when I go to sleep tonight (that doesn't happen too often).

in other news, I am having my colonoscopy and a scope done at the same time one week from today, this ought to be iteresting, I just received that thick envlop in the mail today too, with all the fun paperwork to fill out, yipee! not! ha ha ha! being 23 and having to go through a colonoscopy really sucks, especially because I am so young. oh well, at least we will know if I am okay once I have the procedure done.

I just have so much on my mind, and am getting overwhelmed, and I am worried about so much, and I miss my mom more than anything! this colonoscopy really is strating to make me nervous, okay enough about that, I better end this post before it gets to be too long, I hope you all are doing well...

Have a great weekend!

Did I Just Say Colonoscopy???

Yes, you read that right, at my young age, although I know that all people or most people get their colonoscopies done at age 50, I am getting one done at the young age of 23 (and not even a half yet) years old I should say.

I am so dreading the preparation part of the colonoscopy, as for the past three days, since my cat scan I have been visiting the bathroom more often than not. it has not been fun, especially when I am at work, and in the middle of a project, and then all of a sudden I am having to make a quick run to the restroom. earlier this week, I had ro run to the restroom quite a bit at work, and I was quite miserible with a rumbling gut, and having to run about every hour or two. big pain in the butt! now it is down to about once or twice a day. at least tomorrow I can just be home and resting, and have a restrooom in close range, if I need one to run to.

so the week that my vacation starts I start my vacation on the 11th of February, and I have the first few days to myself, and on the 14th I have a doctors appointment in the morning at 9:00 AM, then later that evening my mom and I have paul cardall's concert, which we are both so excited for! then on the 15th, I start piano lessons, and then on the 16th we have a party for my uncle since it is his birthday, then on the 17th I am going to relax until I have to start drinking the liquid stuff in preparation to clean me out for my colonoscopy on the 18th which is the last day of my vacation, then on saturday and sunday I plan on resting and taking it easy and resting up for the week ahead. so my vacation is going to start out great then go out with a bang, but then, hopefully we will have some deffinite answers as to why I have been having this pain in my left side.

I have been on pain medication since my GI appointment three days ago, and I have only had to take one pain pill a day to manage my pain, which I think is pretty good, so we will see how I do through the weekend. hopefully I can hold off on the pain medications as long as possible. we shall see what happens this weekend. I have a full weekend planned, so it may not last long.

everyone enjoy the super bowl this weekend, I know I will!

Doctors appointments

GI Appointment 2/1/2011: so yesterday on the first, I went to my GI doctor again, and we discussed the many things that could possibly be wrong with me, and he felt on the side where my pain is, and it hurt really bad. I have been having pain on my left side for about three weeks now, from my rib cage all the way down my hip to above my left knee. it is crazy! and I do not know what is going on. so my GI doctor ordered some blood work to be done to check my pancreas enzymes, and my liver function and kidney function. we are still waiting on the results for that too come back.

we also discussed that my topamax may be the cause of my GERD symptoms, and so we may look into getting me on a different seizure medication. so I have dome some research on a few different medications, but so far, not much luck in that department yet. so this weekend, I may be doing more research in that department.

also as I have mentioned in one of my recent posts, I have to clear my throat a lot while I eat during any meal, or drink anything, my GI doctor also thinks that may be from the topamax. it is just the thought of being put through switching another medication makes me kind of nervous, as to what I might experience, and what I may have to go through with my job (if anything) who knows?

so where does that leave this part of the problem, in my hands, it is up to me, and I have to decide. I have some major decisions to make.

so I need to rewind a little bit, when we talked to my GI doctor about my pain, he said that the CT Scan would show quite a bit of information, but in the case that it doe not show anything, and I still continue to have this pain then we will go ahead with a colonoscopy. he said that if I do not have any kidney stones, then there could be something wrong with either my small intestine or my large intestine, so then I would get to go through one of those. I have been through the preparation process twice, once with my mom, and once with my aunt. the time with my mom was a terrifying experience because her blood sugars would not stay up, and I only got an hour of sleep that night, but the one with my aunt was a bit more pleasant, I at least got 4 hours of sleep (light sleep I might add).

so in the next few days once we get the CT test results back, and my blood results back, we should know what we need to do next and if I have a kidney stone or not.

I must say that the whole CT scan was a lot different than what I am usually use to. I usually have them done on my head because of my shunt, so I am facing the right way, but this time my feet were facing where my head usually would lay, and I had a contrast injected into me that felt so weird going into me, I can't even describe the feeling. all I can tell you is that I felt warm all over, then I felt like my heart had water going over it, and then I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, then I started getting really bad pains in my stomach during the testing. that was an interesting experience. but I am so gladit is all over with, now I am just anxious to get the results, VERY anxious!!!

as soon as we hear back on the test results I will do another post. I hope you all have had a great day!

P.S. I forgot to mention that my GI doctor gave me a pain medication for the pain I have been having while we get things figured out. I took it today, and I almost fell asleep on my break at work it made me so tired. it is called Tramadol, and it is so much more better than that loritab crap!! it sure helped with the pain and did not make me feel weird whike I was at work, just really sleepy. perhaps I should take one, if my pain is too bad before I go to bed tonight so I can sleep well.....

Blog update coming soon

so today I didn't get around to the update I said I would get to on facebook, but I was busy this afternoon with avon stuff and my doctors appointment. it is very detailed, so after my test tomorrow I will update on both..

stay tuned......

P.S. I did get blood work one today, so we should have those results back in a few days.

A Book worth Reading.......

so I am not sure how many of you out there are readers, and I am not sure how many of you have heard of a musician by the name of paul cardall, but he wrote an outstanding book that I just got done reading today. I started reading it two days ago and could not put it down it was so good! I suggest you buy it and read it, you will not put it down once you have picked it up. it is available on amazon.com, and it is also available at deseret book, and segull book, but Amazon.com has the cheapest price.

I reallly recommend this book to anyone out there, it is a very uplifting book. for more information about paul cardall and his inspirational story you may visit his blog at http://beforemyheartstops.blogspot.com/ he is one inspirational man who has been through so much, but has so much to offer and teach us.

I don't read many books, but this one was good and I loved it! I am going to read another one my neighbor gave me and see how long it takes me to finish it.

P.S. the title of Paul Cardall's book is titled "Before my Heart Stops" very Amazing! there are no words to describe how good his book is. you will just have to read it for yourself and see what I mean....

400th post / a couple things from the other day

so the other day my mom and I had my aunt Joanne and her husband john over for dinner and a movie and had a great time. well while we were having dinner we were having a discussion about my cupcakes, since I make the best cupcakes in the world! anyone who has had them from me knows that, and my home made frosting too...

anyway, so we got talking about how I should take them to people, like people in hospitals, or to a homeless shelter, etc. but first I need to set up my own website, and get people who would want to help me by maybe donating items such as cake mixes, or even money so I could go get the items to make the cupcakes.

in the next little while I will have a separate blog for my cupcakes up and running and I will list all the separate ingredients needed for the different cupcakes I have made that have turned out, then you can decide wither you would like to donate cash for the item, or wither you would like to donate the item it self.

also on my cupcakre blog, I will have a "donate" button on the side, if you would like to donate any funds to my account for the items.

thank you so much for your support!

Kandice

my thought's

this past sunday my mom and I attended my aunts ward, and went to all of her meetings. I thought it was such a wonderful experience, and my aunts lesson was wonderful. I still can't get her lesson out of my head. her lesson in relief society was on fasting, and having a purpose to fast.

as I sit here and think of everyone around me, my mom my aunt, the people who have been ill, and most importantly the people who need us to fast for them the most, the ones who may be suffering from a terminal illness such as cancer, or maybe a heart deffect.

we all need to have a purpose to fast for, and it is very important. last week I went to visit my neighbor next door, and she had mentioned that her son-in-law who has cancer is not doing very well, and since then, their family has been on my mind, because I know what it is like to lose someone to cancer, wither their sons-in-law cancer is getting worse or not, I do not know, but I do hope that he will be cured one day.

today while I was at work, an overwhelming feeling came over me that I should call or go over and see my neighbors soon, I need to check and see how their son-in-law is doing. I don't know why I go this feeling today, but I know there must be a reason, and I will soon find this out. maybe I was supposed to hear that lesson last sunday for a reason, and prompted, by the spirit for a reaso, which is yet unknown.

this week I have been reading Paul Cardalls blog, and he is a true inspiration, he has some touching posts on there from the past few days about his friend who is suffering from severe heart failure. to see his blog go to http://beforemyheartstops.blogspot.com/ the post I read today, is a lot of the reason for this post. his post almost brought me to full tears. very heart wrenching.

there are just so many people out there suffering, and we may not notice it, because to us they look fine on the outside, but on the inside the pain and suffering is so much more. please take a moment and think of someone, that you could fast for this week who is suffering, who may have cancer, who may have an uncurable heart condition, who may only have a few weeks left to live because of a terminal cancer. you may help in some small way, and bless their lives without even knowing it.

doing my research

so lately I have been doing a lot of research on the different problems that could be wrong with me. I have searched "symptoms of hyatal hernias", "symptoms of GERD", "Symptoms of throat cancer", you name it, I have searched for it.

I have also searched for treatments for hiatal hernias, and for GERD, and they are both surgical treatments. so they could require a long hospital stay, or a long LOA from work.

however, I am determined to find out what I have, and cure it. I am getting tired of not being able to eat in peace, and having to clear my throat numerous times at dinner, or belching, for no reason. I am just plain tired of it. I have been dealing with it since the picture above was taken in July of 2010! and that is WAY TOO LONG!! if you ask me!!

a lot of times I just avoid eating during the day because it is a pain, and it takes way too long to do, and plus I would be learing my throat after every bite! it is so insaine, so my only solution is to eat one meal a day and only suffer once a day.

I am getting frustrated, because I can't eat a little faster, and I have to eat very slow, and I have to drink a glass of milk so slow, it is so frustrating!!! I know that there are some people out there dealing with a lot worse things than me, but now my throat, and esophagus are starting to hurt, and it is scaring me. because if GERD is left untreated it can lead to cancer, and that is something I do not want to get. because that is worse to try to treat than GERD it self.

well I have another post from earlier today in the works, so I will post that probably tomorrow.

Prescription problems, insurance issues, and wal-mart

so the other day I went to go refil a seizure mediczation of mine only to fine out that I was going to be paying $ 350.00 for it and that it was not longer covered by my insurance company. so after a long talk with my pharmacy, and calling around to other pharmacies, we decided to switch me over to the generic FOR NOW!

now for the insurance part. i called my insurance company and they explained to me that I could file an appeals claim for the medication with my doctor so that my insurance will cover the name brand topapax medication. I have been on the name brand since last April, and haven't had any different since then. so they are going to mail me out the forms and then it should take about 3 weeks for me to appeal this case!

now for the wal-mart part of this post. I heard that wal-mart switched to a new insurance plan or something, and they no longer want to cover all of us expensive sickies that work for them just to suck them and use them for their insurance. that is all wal-mart is good for, nothing else, everything else they suck at and they are totally on my crap list as far as I am concerned, they were number one on that long ago!

so this just gives me one more reason to find a better job, with better insurance coverage that will cover ALL OF MY PRESCRIPTIONS! be thankful that you are not a sick person with health issues, because if you are then you sure pay for it!

man I am just a little overwhelmed, and tomorrow I plan on calling the two places I applied at a while ago to see where they are at with my applications and with their decision in hiring me. I sure would love a different job!

I feel a little better now. maybe I will go unwind somemore and get some good rest tonight, and I know tomorrow is going to be a great day! because it is going to be spent at home!! thank goodness for days off!!

eating and such

so since I have had my last scope last august and my esophagus was dialated I have been able to eat, and swallow things okay; but recently it always takes me an hour at dinner time to eat say two peices of toast, scrambled eggs, and three peices of sausage, or longer, and then about another half an hour to get my glass of milk down after I have taken my pills for the evening.

This is getting to be a real joke! I mean who takes an hour to eat a small meal like that, and who takes a half an hour to drink an 8 ounce glass of milk? it's rediculous???? and I am always clearing my throat.

I have done some major googling and research, and it seems that I am having more GERD symptoms, and issues with that. when I had my first scope in July I was given a medication to help with that, and so far it has not been helping too much. sometimes it ddoes and sometimes it doesn't. and recently my GERD symptoms have come back, plus with a few new ones!

so what are we looking at now? who knows, maybe another bunch of doctors appointments, but the only other last solution I am going to see about doing is surgery to fix this problem once and for all. I am so tired of this, and I want relief!

I don't even know where this GERD came from, so I want to get rid of it! I am so tired of having to eat slow, and take my time, and then have my mom wonder if I am okay because I am taking so long to eat. I mean it is good she worries about me, but ealmost every night I get asked at least once if I am okay (which I guess it is better than not being asked at all) I love my mom for caring so much to ask me if I am okay. I am so glad she does. she is the best!

I just hope to find a solution, and a permanent one this time to this problem once and for ALL!!