stress in high gear

this week I have to say (or at least the last few days have been so nerve wracking and stressful. I am so nervous for my medication change. (maybe I am nervous for no reason, but I feel there is a lot to be nervous about!) I just wish we could get the show on the road NOW!

yesterday in the mail I received something about my insurance, we have no Idea if my insurance is going to be dropped or what, but it is just another problem that I have to get solved FAST! this is a big stress on me, since it seems how my medication is still $60.00 with insurance, and that is still expensive! so without insurance I can only imagine what the cost of my medication will be. this whole mess is such a joke!

the second thing is that I filled out an availability form and I put some of the wrong information in the spots that I was supposed to fill out, and I have no Idea if it can be changed back from part-time to full-time. I put that I wanted 8 hours a day 5 days a week, but the major detail that I put in wrong was that I wanted 32 hours, (I should have kept it at 40) with my new availability. just another problem that needs to be taken care of today!

the last few days I have not been getting to sleep very well. I will usually lay down around midnight or one in the morning, but then I will lay there for almost three hours before I fall asleep. I have never been like this before, and with all of the nerves, stress, and pressure I feel it is sure taking its toll on my sleeping habits. I will be SOOOOOOOOO GLAD! when this day is OVER!

I never thought I would know what it is like to be stressed, but I think i know now after all that has been happening. I just hope that after I get everything figured out I can have a big sigh of relief and relax and go treat myself to something I deserve such as a pedicure at wal-mart or something! somtething that will relax me and calm my nerves down!

I feel so tense right now, and I wish that feeling would go away! I do not like this feeling. my stomach is in knots, I have no appetite, I do not talk much, I keep everything in (so manyeb when this is all over I will probably cry) because I am relieved. I just hope I feel better after I get this all handeled today!

one of these posts will be more calmer and happy, especially when I get on my LOA and am able to enjoy this beautiful weather while I transition my medications.