Fall Semester 2018

I just felt like I should get on here and write a few thoughts today. as the semester comes to a close I have been reflecting on all the work I had done and completed successfully. I was reading through previous blog posts and I realized that I have not written since the spring of 2017.

a lot has happened since that semester and I have learned so much about myself in the process. I have had some tough professors along the way which have taught me how I am going to do things differently the next time. this semester has been different in some ways compared to other semesters past. since I knew most of the material I was able to complete most of the work on my own, and I didn't have to attend class much in the beginning.

I already had most of the work done except for the last month of class. I have had to come to class for at least the last month to finish the semester, and I have successfully completed everything but our two final assignments which I will have done before monday.

completing this class with the best grade is a huge accomplishment for me and one I feel should be celebrated. after all it has taken me three years to get through English and I am finally going to make it!

I have had one of the best instructors at the school who knows how I learn, what it takes to get me to understand and the time I take to do my work. he has also seen what works best for me as far as being in a different setting to get my work done. my instructor knows what I am capable of so I feel like he pushes me to try harder, and to do better.

my writing has come a long way, and I can see a difference even from one year ago when I took ENGL 0990 with this same instructor. I feel like I know what tools are there for me to improve my paper, like the writing center. one year ago I would have never thought to use that tool so much for the feedback I have been given. I have been visiting the DRC lab and asking for their help in completing my work, and they have been helpful as well.

I also know what I need to keep me organized for class, like calendars, my binders, and folders. if everything stays in one place then I know right where to go and find it. I have a flash drive with many assignments, which I have not deleted since I started college in 2014. I keeep everything. because one day I may have to refer back to it for one reason or another.

one thing I still struggle with in college is seeing that my writing is good, seeing that what I did was well written. I just don't feel like I am that good at writing, and what I think is bad others think is so much better. I guess I am just really critical of my own writing. I try not to be, but when I don't understand something and I have to have something explained to me over and over again I feel discouraged because I feel like it is something I don't get. I feel like I should understand everything, especially if everyone is telling me I am good at writing.

I wish I could see what others see. of course after a semester is over and I look through my work then I think "wow I really did a nice job on this." sometimes it takes me a while to truly see how good my writing is until I have time to look over it after everything is said and done. I find when I am under stress I am overly critical of myself and my abilities and I can't see what my professor sees, what my mom sees, what my cousin sees, etc.

I do have a binder of essays I have written that I do intend on adding my recent papers to. only the best papers go in this binder. the three papers I have written this semester will definitely go in there. I haven't added anything to this binder in over a year, so it will be fun to look back on all the papers I have written.

I am so lucky to have a great professor who sees my abilities and who always gets me to try harder because he knows what I am capable of.

Spring Semester 2017

I have had a feeling I should write for a while now. I just finished my third spring semester in college. this past semester I learned so much about myself. I learned that I understand information differently than others in my class. I can remember one particular day when I was in class and we were suppose to read in groups, one group of students was prepared and the other was not; I was in with the unprepared students that day. I can remember as the student was reading the article that I was not even comprehending anything that was being read, the reason for this was because she was reading in a monotone voice with no expression. I got up and grabbed my belongings and headed for a quiet place to work.

at the end of the semester on the last day of class I cried because of all I went through to get to that moment. I realized that I proved everyone wrong who thought I couldn't do it, but I came out on top. I might have to work differently, but I always get my work done.

there were numerous times I wanted to give up during the semester, but because my instructor could see my true potential I kept going. he saw my writing abilities and my strengths and what I was good at. he always focused on what I could do instead of what I couldn't do. he always pushed me to do more, to try harder, to think deeper, to do better.

I learned that I could understand so much more if I just take the time to really understand material. I put more time into this semester than I ever have in my schooling to understand the work I am doing. I now understand how to effectively write a narrative, or even a synthesis. my appreciation for literature has grown this semester and my desire to keep learning is never ending.

I am so grateful to my instructor Jason Roberts for all the time he spent with me this spring, to expand my understanding, and for his encouragement and guidance and for inspiring me to become a better writer.

this picture was taken in 2015, at the end of the Spring 2015 school year. his father was my institute teacher for a short time, and he was an amazing teacher as well. Jason suggested I take his dads class, and I am glad I did because they were the best classes!!

Leaving the past behind

not many people know that I have struggled with my weight since I was 6 years old. it all started when I was switched to an Anti-seizure medication called tegretol, add 13 years later, and a stressful job, and a bunch of other events in the mix and I gained weight. if i really went into detail about the main reason why I gained weight many of you would not understand it....who knows, maybe I am wrong? anyway all that is important is that I am getting control of my life again.

after many years of struggling with my weight, which was caused by my tegretol, due to it's effect on my thyroid I gained over 100 pounds. I do not even remember being below 200 pounds. all I remember is being teased in Elementary school really bad because of how I looked, and I was called names I choose not to repeat on here.

after many years of all that pain I went through growing up, and what I went through at walmart, it feels good to let go of the past and move forward! this weekend and past few weeks I have been cleaning out my closet and I didn't realize how much I actually do not fit into now until it all went into bags! and the reason none of it fits is because it is all too big!! since beginning this Journey in January I have lost 63 pounds!! this for me is a HUGE! accomplishment.

I am not posting any pictures of me for a while longer, and who knows, maybe you will see me in a magazine!!

here are the many bags of clothes I am getting rid of!! 8 bags!!!! and more will come in the coming months!!!

Here is a picture of me back in October of 2015, just before I went through the temple, many people can already see a difference in my appearance, most importantly I can feel the difference in more ways than one!!

I will update again soon, maybe by December with a picture!!

a few thoughts

a few months ago, I went and saw a doctor my mom sees, and he specializes in hormone replacement therapy. it was not until after I went to him that I found out that I was not in good condition in many areas. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and meeting with Dr. Jones I learned a lot of new things about myself I never even knew before. like why I can't seem to lose weight very easily? I found out my body is insulin resistant, and that because of the bad foods I was eating, like even 10 years ago that is what has caused my body to be this way.

I remember when I was in high school I would eat crap, and I regret it now more than ever, although it is never too late to change our habits. I always remember one teacher telling me I was going to be a diabetic one day because of the way I ate, and I never listened to him. I should have though, because insulin resistance is almost as bad as being a diabetic.

I have changed my ways dramatically, and am eating more healthier than I did 10 years ago, and even as recent as a year ago. if I were to go to my school today I would not buy a bag of M&M's or even something in the food court, I would bring something from home, and in my free time at the school I would make sure I am exercising. my mindset has changed. I am in this for the long run. I am going to get in the best shape, better than I have been in a long time. my body won't even know how to act being in good shape.

the reason I do not share any recent pictures of me is 1). I do not like how I look right now and 2). I am waiting until I am below the number I am at right now before I post any good pictures. when I feel good about myself, then there will be more pictures of me in front of the camera instead of behind the camera!

I have 11 weeks until I want to see where I am at and if I have met one of my goals, I will definitely update before then.

Protected

today I was outside with bentley like I always do, and I was just turning around to walk home when all of a sudden a huge dog which looked like a pit-bull came out of no where and started attacking bentley. I started screaming, and before he could really get bentley I pulled bentley up by his harness and held him in the air. I screamed for the kids to get their vicious dog away from bentley.....I do not know how long the encounter lasted but as soon as it was over I fell to my knees and embraced bentley and started to cry. I was so grateful that he was okay and that he was protected from this scary dog.

I was by myself, and this lady came up on me when she saw me sitting there crying holding bentley. I explained to her what had just happened. she was very nice and walked me home. I shook the whole way. it took me at least a few hours to settle down after that awful encounter, but I am grateful that I was being watched over.

since receiving my endowments I have seen many blessings in my life, and today was a huge blessing because bentley is safe and was not hurt, and I was not hurt either. heavenly father was watching over me today. I said a prayer of gratitude for watching over bentley and I because I know that without my heavenly fathers help we would not have been safe.

picture for my temple invitations from last year

Post Surgery Appointment

Today I had my post Surgery appointment for my eye surgery and my doctor was very pleased with how my eye looks. I am still having a few issues with how objects look like words in my textbooks; they look like they are stacked on top of each other and objects far away are blurry. right now it just hurts my eye to be in areas that have bright lights, and I can't look at objects like computer screens or TV's for too long. all of these things will go away eventually over time.

the first few days were just a little tough with the pain, but since then I have not taken any pain medications or anything. I am pretty tough when it comes to tolerating pain. this is now my third eye surgery and my mom and I both hope that it lasts just as long as the previous two which were between 12 and 12 years and 1 month between each one, so we hope I won't ave to have surgery on my other eye for some time or the left eye won't go out of place.

my eye looks pretty good for being out of surgery for a week today. it is just a little red. the redness is starting to get better. I will try to add a picture to this post later. I actually have some pictures from early on, and one as recent as last night that I took.

have a great evening!

so I have decided that with each post I do this year I will add a different picture at the end. by the end of the year I think it will be neat to see how many different pictures I have come up with. in the fall I hope to take a photography class so then there will be even more fun photos!!

Thoughts on Grandma

as I was reading through some of my previous blog posts on here I couldn't help but ponder a few things. one post was written some time in 2008 and it was about my grandma. during that time my grandma was not doing too well, and she was being fed by the way of a feeding tube. on this particular day she was at my house and wanted to watch movies with me all day that day. what I would give to be able to watch one more movie with her or read one more book to her.

in the post I wrote that I had told her I was all movied out, and that I was tired of watching movies. I wondered if she was tired of watching movies. my grandma loved watching shows such as touched by an angel, the andy grifith show, etc. so TV never got old to her. back then in 2008 I was only 20, so I was young and not really in any mood for wanting to watch TV with my grandma.

fast forward to 2010, and when my grandma became ill and ended up in a nursing home I was by her side every day until she passed away. in those two years I realized that watching as many movies as she wanted didn't even matter anymore, because she couldn't even watch the TV. I was having to read her books and play her music and interact with her in a way that I felt she could know I was there. my perspective of spending time with my grandma changed, I relished every second with my grandma. my only regret is that I never. gave her a hug or said I love you the night we left before she passed away.

I know that my grandma loves me though, and I have been shown that through experiences in my life, and I am grateful she can always be a part of me. I was one of her special grand children. I was the 21st grand child born on the 21st of August in 1987!! none of her other grandchildren will ever share that bond with her.

I think the time I got to spend with her before she passed away was so special. although I learned some hard things at a young age, I think it has helped prepare me for who I am today. I think having to take care of my grandma in the ways that I have has prepared me to want to work in the field I am choosing to study. I love working with people and caring for people, and it has shown. when my grandma would have to be fed, I would always be willing to put her food in her bag and hook her up. not many people know how to do that at the age of 20.

my grandma was such an amazing, talented, strong willed, forgiving, non-judgmental human being. I hope one day I can be more like her. she was one of the best. I just love my grandma and will be forever grateful for the time I was able to spend with her. I know she would be so proud of me and where I am today!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I Know I have taken a lot of time off from this blog, but that will change. I am planning on trying to blog at least once a week, or at least twice a month. since I began school in 2014 everything has been crazy! I have not had a chance to really slow down. I am hoping this summer to have a nice break and my mom and I can enjoy ourselves and do something fun!

some things that have changed since I last updated:

1. my foot is 100% back to normal, and life couldn't be any more crazy than it is.

2. my mom and I had to put my kitty down this past august, the day after I started school (that was tough on both of us)

3. my mom adopted mimi

4. I went through the temple for the first time for myself (that was an amazing experience) and I had a lot of support from family and friends!

5. at the end of 2015 my mom and I found out that I need another eye surgery!! this will be my third eye surgery in my life! my second eye surgery in 12 years!

I am really excited to set some new goals for this year (2016) and write in my journal more! I have already started this today, I just hope I can keep it up!

have a great night everyone! I will write more soon!

A New Beginning....And The Movie Frozen!

I don't have a lot to write about, but I will write about some things that I last left off on in my last post. I have now been in school since January 13, 2014. I have had my share of instructors to go through in this short time, but I have finally found the right ones that are going to work for me. I am Taking Writing, Reading and Sociology.
Sociology seems to be my toughest subject in school right now, and reading is the easiest, and writing I am playing catch up in, but I am getting there. I switched from one instructor to another in almost the middle of the term, but my first class I wasn't learning anything in. with my new writing instructor I have learned more in the short time that I have been in her class than I ever did in my other class, and I do like her class a lot.
since I broke my foot my foot has healed up nicely, I no longer go to physical therapy. I got let go from walmart, which I knew would happen because I was not able to return to work because I can not stand on my foot for long periods of time like I use to be able to. but that's okay, I am busy with school and I am enjoying that.
next, I took the road test and I failed it. I only failed it because I am unfamiliar with the roads in draper and the driving instructor took me on a road with an intersection that had hardly any lines and that is what caused me to fail it. at least I won't get this rude guy again, and I hope I won't have to do the same route I did. I am also going to try to do my road test through A-1 instead. so there are a few options there.
I actually finished my first book in a long time! the book was Elizabeth Smart: My Story, Amazing book, but it was gut wrenching to hear what Mitchell and Barzee put her through everyday and night. but she had such faith and a positive attitude which I thought was amazing through such a dark time.
so as you can see I changed my cover photo. my new favorite movie is frozen! and I love Olaf! anyone who has not seen frozen you need to go see it, or rent it from redbox! best movie ever!

A new beginning...

I don't have a lot to write about, but I will write about some things that I last left off on in my last post. I have now been in school since January 13, 2014. I have had my share of instructors to go through in this short time, but I have finally found the right ones that are going to work for me. I am Taking Writing, Reading and Sociology.

Sociology seems to be my toughest subject in school right now, and reading is the easiest, and writing I am playing catch up in, but I am getting there. I switched from one instructor to another in almost the middle of the term, but my first class I wasn't learning anything in. with my new writing instructor I have learned more in the short time that I have been in her class than I ever did in my other class, and I do like her class a lot.

since I broke my foot my foot has healed up nicely, I no longer go to physical therapy. I got let go from walmart, which I knew would happen because I was not able to return to work because I can not stand on my foot for long periods of time like I use to be able to. but that's okay, I am busy with school and I am enjoying that.

next, I took the road test and I failed it. I only failed it because I am unfamiliar with the roads in draper and the driving instructor took me on a road with an intersection that had hardly any lines and that is what caused me to fail it. at least I won't get this rude guy again, and I hope I won't have to do the same route I did. I am also going to try to do my road test through A-1 instead. so there are a few options there.

I actually finished my first book in a long time! the book was Elizabeth Smart: My Story, Amazing book, but it was gut wrenching to hear what Mitchell and Barzee put her through everyday and night. but she had such faith and a positive attitude which I thought was amazing through such a dark time.

so as you can see I changed my cover photo. my new favorite movie is frozen! and I love Olaf! anyone who has not seen frozen you need to go see it, or rent it from redbox! best movie ever!

so behind with blogging.....

since I last updated my blog I have been busy doing many things, my mom and I went on a trip to Yellowstone with her boss and his wife and their family, I ditched the boot and got my pins out, and began physical therapy for my foot.

I have also completed my hours for driving and just need to take the road test to get my drivers license, I now have a car.

Bentley my puppy is no longer a "puppy" he will be 1 year old on January 3rd, that is really hard to believe. it has been really fun here with him at home.

I am not working right now, and will be attending SLCC starting January 13, 2014.

I got my invisalign trays and am now on my second set of 22 sets of trays.

I will be writing another post in the next few days with more pictures of our Christmas craft, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

Hydrocephalus walk 2013

it's that time of year again. I am now working on raising money for the hydrocephalus association. if you would like to donate please click on the link on the right hand side of the screen. if you would like to walk with me, sign up as a team member, we would love to have you join us!

I am also selling bracelets for the walk at $5.00 each, if you want one let me know. I will repost pictures on here and on Facebook of my bracelet.

I would love to have as many people join me as I can get. this is for a great cause and you will get to meet a lot of wonderful people.

I will be adding more to my blog a little later today. have a great day!

How I broke my foot??

I am sure I will be getting this question a lot so to save myself from sounding like a stuck record ll the time here is how it happened. I was getting Bentley ready to go to a party and I had his leash hooked to a doorknob in our mud room so he wouldn't go far. Well when I was trying to walk in his direction he ran across my path and so I tried to step over his leash in which he proceeded to jump up on me and I tripped and my foot twisted and I heard a snap sound,which is never good. Then came the pain. So I crawled to the front door and yelled for my next door neighbor ad he came over and helped me get on he couch. At that time my foot pain just kept getting worse and worse.



My next call was to our friend Teresa to tell her what had just happened and that since she was already on her way over here she old just need to take m to the instacare. So, I got to the instacare and h got me a wheel chair and came back out o the car to get me. Then she brought me back in the building and waited with me until I went back to a room before he left to go to her kids' birthday party.

So I had my X-ray done and my foot was really broken. Badly too, in a really bad spot. So I may need surgery on my foot to repair it.

Bentley 3 Months........and three month shots :(

well first of all I guess I will update on the good stuff about Bentley, he is still so much fun, and my mom and I love him so much :) he is getting better in areas, like biting less and less and learning to love us more (licking instead) he has large amounts of energy and never seems to tire out. we just can't get enough of him.

here are a few pictures of the past month....



today we took Bentley to the vet and we got him weighed and he is now a little over 5 pounds, which is about a pound an a half from where he was the last time we took him in to see the vet, today he also got two shots, and he did not like that and since then this evening he has been resting the whole night.

here are a few pictures a few days before he got his shots.....



and this is after this evening, poor little guy is super sad and in pain. totally not himself, but he is still cute!



now Bentley is in bed and hopefully he will sleep well tonight. and I am hoping for a better day for him and a more active day.

have a Great Night!

Bentley

Bentley was born on January 3, 2013, we got him when he was 8 weeks old. and today he is 11 weeks and 2 days old. he has been so much fun to have around. we laugh at what he does, he makes us run after him, and he is pretty darn cute too...here are some pictures for you to enjoy....I don't think anymore will need to be said after these pictures, they speak for themselves.





he is such a handful at times, but he is still so much fun, I love him a lot!

A lot to talk about

So since my last post on here a lot of things have been happening, good things. First as you have seen on Facebook I got a new little puppy.

He is so much fun, but at the same time he is so much work and all he wants to do is play all the time. He really keeps my mom and I on our toes.

This past week I went to an ENT doctor at riverton hospital to be tested for celiac and a few other allergies, and it turns out I don't have celiac but I am allergic to cats, dogs, and dust.

I was quite shocked to hear that I am allergic to both cats and dogs, and I have been around animals for years, especially cats and I recently got my puppy. But he is not going anywhere, so now we may have to do something with my cat, but who knows what we will end up doing and when we will end up doing it.

I guess we just deal with both animals for now and I just enjoy the time I have with each of them because one of them might be gone sooner than later.

So this could be why my asthma flares up in the evening and for the other symptoms I have been experiencing. I never dreamed I would ever be allergic to the animals I love, and now that I know I am and have one of each I am kind of stuck, but right now I wouldn't trade my puppy for anything else. He is so much fun!

Elder Dallin Southwick

Today has been a difficult day for me emotionally. I am emotionally drained from this day. I think I have cried as much as I could cry today.

I never knew I would have such a difficult time with my next door neighbors son leaving for his mission to serve our heavenly father, but I feel so close to their family that I feel like their children are almost like family I have never had. I feel close to them, that I feel comfortable around them anytime I go over to their house.

I am sure going to miss dallin for two years, but I knw he is doing a great service for our church and for the future members of our church.

today I was having such a hard time that I did not want to go over to his house and play a song for him before he left on his mission, but I can say I am glad I did it before he left. the spirit there was so strong, that I got very emotional before the song.

below are two pictures of dallin (Elder Southwick) I have to get use to that for at least two years, oh man that is so weird to finally be saying that!! so I played a song for him and his entire family and they all said that I left them with a peaceful feeling.....the song I played was gracie's theme.

Gracie's Theme By Paul Cardall

It's been a long time

I know it's been a while since I have updates my blog, I promise to get better about updating at least once a month.

there have been a lot of things that we have done in the past few months, since my birthday.

Things we have done are:

in October, or like the end of september, we went to the pumpkin patch by our house, and picked out a few pumpkins for us to carve along with our friend, and her two little kids. it was a lot of fun.

we had halloween, and there really weren't that many trick-or-treaters this year, and they came a lot later than last year. so we ended a little early for the evening since I had to be up by 5:30 for work.

we have also had a few movie nights in there, with family, and that has been fun.

and today, we are currently tracking down mice in our house. we found out recently that some of our food had holes in it, and have since caught two of them, although I am sure there is more mice downstairs in the basement.

so with the mice problem we have been having, it reminds me of this video:

http://youtu.be/-L6UWk6-Hg8

this video is funny, just keep watching. there is one mouse that we can't seem to get, but he gets all the cranberries off the trap without being hit. maybe we already got him, who knows? we will never know how many mice we have, but we are prepared for as many as we might get.

Have a great day. oh and a little later photos and videos will be added to this post.

My Birthday Party

I just have to add today that yesterday was such a fun day, I sure did enjoy myself. I got some pretty fun stuff that I will be able to use now. I got some new address lables that are cupcake lables, my winnie the pooh lables are getting pretty old, and I am getting tired of them. so I am excited to use my new ones. I also got some cupcake checks :)

another thing I got was a cute cupcake piggy bank from my mom, which I love, it is so cute! and then I got some clothes, and a cute cupcake wallet.

and in the end of the night after we went golfing at mulligans, there was another surprise for me. my aunt created a scavenger hunt for me, which was so fun, and out of the clue she created I had to lead them to the different locations, and in a few of the clues were numbers that led to where the lext clue was, and I had to put those numbers in order, and I found that one clue was at my aunts house, and the other eventually ended up being at my house.

then I had to answer a question before I could see where the surprise was, and everyone took me down in the basement, and led me to the exercise room, and there sat a recumbant bike that I could sit and ride on and exercise on. I was so surprised, I had no idea what to expect.

so then I tried it out, and I loved it! it is perfect for me! it is just what I need! it is so quiet that no one would ever know I was down in the basement unless they actually walked down there themselves.

I have quite a few pictures to upload from yesterday, some my mom took, and some are on my phone. as soon as I gather all of those I will add them to this post. I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend :)

coming a long ways.....

in a year, I really feel like I have come a long way in so many ways, one way is that we recently found out some fantastic news about my shunt, and what a blessing that is to my mom and I today. I am truely greatful for that. I am greatful for the wonderful doctors we have been able to meet that are now in our lives to explain things the way we understand them. I really could not have come this far without my mom's support and without the support of my aunt, and most of all the support of my counselor, who has always, like my family believed I could do anything and has never given up on me. today I reached one of my greatest goals of all time, one I have been working on for almost 1 year, and I finally passed today!!! I passed the written test for my learners permit, and I received an 80% on it which is what I needed to pass!! after today, I know now I really can do anything, and no one is going to hold me back, I just have to keep believeing in myself that I can do it and then I just have to make it happen. I am really excited for my new adventures that will come with driving and being independent, now I just need to complete the driving instruction, then I can get my license.....one more step to go and I am there!!!