Thoughts on Grandma

as I was reading through some of my previous blog posts on here I couldn't help but ponder a few things. one post was written some time in 2008 and it was about my grandma. during that time my grandma was not doing too well, and she was being fed by the way of a feeding tube. on this particular day she was at my house and wanted to watch movies with me all day that day. what I would give to be able to watch one more movie with her or read one more book to her.

in the post I wrote that I had told her I was all movied out, and that I was tired of watching movies. I wondered if she was tired of watching movies. my grandma loved watching shows such as touched by an angel, the andy grifith show, etc. so TV never got old to her. back then in 2008 I was only 20, so I was young and not really in any mood for wanting to watch TV with my grandma.

fast forward to 2010, and when my grandma became ill and ended up in a nursing home I was by her side every day until she passed away. in those two years I realized that watching as many movies as she wanted didn't even matter anymore, because she couldn't even watch the TV. I was having to read her books and play her music and interact with her in a way that I felt she could know I was there. my perspective of spending time with my grandma changed, I relished every second with my grandma. my only regret is that I never. gave her a hug or said I love you the night we left before she passed away.

I know that my grandma loves me though, and I have been shown that through experiences in my life, and I am grateful she can always be a part of me. I was one of her special grand children. I was the 21st grand child born on the 21st of August in 1987!! none of her other grandchildren will ever share that bond with her.

I think the time I got to spend with her before she passed away was so special. although I learned some hard things at a young age, I think it has helped prepare me for who I am today. I think having to take care of my grandma in the ways that I have has prepared me to want to work in the field I am choosing to study. I love working with people and caring for people, and it has shown. when my grandma would have to be fed, I would always be willing to put her food in her bag and hook her up. not many people know how to do that at the age of 20.

my grandma was such an amazing, talented, strong willed, forgiving, non-judgmental human being. I hope one day I can be more like her. she was one of the best. I just love my grandma and will be forever grateful for the time I was able to spend with her. I know she would be so proud of me and where I am today!