my thoughts for the week

so this week my mom has had this thing she is doing, and has been gone all day for the past few days. I miss seeing my mom a lot. although it is nice to surprise her with little things for when she comes home.

I am finally on my much needed vacation away from work, although not too much of it is going to be thrilling. today on my fisrt day of vacation I have just been cleaning, and doing things around the house. I have gotten a lot done. the last thing I have to do is my room! amd it is actually almost complete, my bed is made, I just have the floor to clean.

today I got the mail because my aunt said there was something in there for me, and I found the surprise in there for me from her, but I also found a letter from my dad. it was very difficult to read his letter, it was a thick one, and he listed things we would do when he gets ut of the place he is in, and I just don't feel he is going to live up to his word. he has let me down so much before, and it hurts. so it was kind of dissapointing to read it, because I havem't seen him change yet.

other than that my day has been great, I have gotten so much accomplished, and I hope to get my room done tonight, that will be a great feeling! the best feeling ever! at least I get to climb into a made bed when I go to sleep tonight (that doesn't happen too often).

in other news, I am having my colonoscopy and a scope done at the same time one week from today, this ought to be iteresting, I just received that thick envlop in the mail today too, with all the fun paperwork to fill out, yipee! not! ha ha ha! being 23 and having to go through a colonoscopy really sucks, especially because I am so young. oh well, at least we will know if I am okay once I have the procedure done.

I just have so much on my mind, and am getting overwhelmed, and I am worried about so much, and I miss my mom more than anything! this colonoscopy really is strating to make me nervous, okay enough about that, I better end this post before it gets to be too long, I hope you all are doing well...

Have a great weekend!

Did I Just Say Colonoscopy???

Yes, you read that right, at my young age, although I know that all people or most people get their colonoscopies done at age 50, I am getting one done at the young age of 23 (and not even a half yet) years old I should say.

I am so dreading the preparation part of the colonoscopy, as for the past three days, since my cat scan I have been visiting the bathroom more often than not. it has not been fun, especially when I am at work, and in the middle of a project, and then all of a sudden I am having to make a quick run to the restroom. earlier this week, I had ro run to the restroom quite a bit at work, and I was quite miserible with a rumbling gut, and having to run about every hour or two. big pain in the butt! now it is down to about once or twice a day. at least tomorrow I can just be home and resting, and have a restrooom in close range, if I need one to run to.

so the week that my vacation starts I start my vacation on the 11th of February, and I have the first few days to myself, and on the 14th I have a doctors appointment in the morning at 9:00 AM, then later that evening my mom and I have paul cardall's concert, which we are both so excited for! then on the 15th, I start piano lessons, and then on the 16th we have a party for my uncle since it is his birthday, then on the 17th I am going to relax until I have to start drinking the liquid stuff in preparation to clean me out for my colonoscopy on the 18th which is the last day of my vacation, then on saturday and sunday I plan on resting and taking it easy and resting up for the week ahead. so my vacation is going to start out great then go out with a bang, but then, hopefully we will have some deffinite answers as to why I have been having this pain in my left side.

I have been on pain medication since my GI appointment three days ago, and I have only had to take one pain pill a day to manage my pain, which I think is pretty good, so we will see how I do through the weekend. hopefully I can hold off on the pain medications as long as possible. we shall see what happens this weekend. I have a full weekend planned, so it may not last long.

everyone enjoy the super bowl this weekend, I know I will!

Doctors appointments

GI Appointment 2/1/2011: so yesterday on the first, I went to my GI doctor again, and we discussed the many things that could possibly be wrong with me, and he felt on the side where my pain is, and it hurt really bad. I have been having pain on my left side for about three weeks now, from my rib cage all the way down my hip to above my left knee. it is crazy! and I do not know what is going on. so my GI doctor ordered some blood work to be done to check my pancreas enzymes, and my liver function and kidney function. we are still waiting on the results for that too come back.

we also discussed that my topamax may be the cause of my GERD symptoms, and so we may look into getting me on a different seizure medication. so I have dome some research on a few different medications, but so far, not much luck in that department yet. so this weekend, I may be doing more research in that department.

also as I have mentioned in one of my recent posts, I have to clear my throat a lot while I eat during any meal, or drink anything, my GI doctor also thinks that may be from the topamax. it is just the thought of being put through switching another medication makes me kind of nervous, as to what I might experience, and what I may have to go through with my job (if anything) who knows?

so where does that leave this part of the problem, in my hands, it is up to me, and I have to decide. I have some major decisions to make.

so I need to rewind a little bit, when we talked to my GI doctor about my pain, he said that the CT Scan would show quite a bit of information, but in the case that it doe not show anything, and I still continue to have this pain then we will go ahead with a colonoscopy. he said that if I do not have any kidney stones, then there could be something wrong with either my small intestine or my large intestine, so then I would get to go through one of those. I have been through the preparation process twice, once with my mom, and once with my aunt. the time with my mom was a terrifying experience because her blood sugars would not stay up, and I only got an hour of sleep that night, but the one with my aunt was a bit more pleasant, I at least got 4 hours of sleep (light sleep I might add).

so in the next few days once we get the CT test results back, and my blood results back, we should know what we need to do next and if I have a kidney stone or not.

I must say that the whole CT scan was a lot different than what I am usually use to. I usually have them done on my head because of my shunt, so I am facing the right way, but this time my feet were facing where my head usually would lay, and I had a contrast injected into me that felt so weird going into me, I can't even describe the feeling. all I can tell you is that I felt warm all over, then I felt like my heart had water going over it, and then I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, then I started getting really bad pains in my stomach during the testing. that was an interesting experience. but I am so gladit is all over with, now I am just anxious to get the results, VERY anxious!!!

as soon as we hear back on the test results I will do another post. I hope you all have had a great day!

P.S. I forgot to mention that my GI doctor gave me a pain medication for the pain I have been having while we get things figured out. I took it today, and I almost fell asleep on my break at work it made me so tired. it is called Tramadol, and it is so much more better than that loritab crap!! it sure helped with the pain and did not make me feel weird whike I was at work, just really sleepy. perhaps I should take one, if my pain is too bad before I go to bed tonight so I can sleep well.....

Blog update coming soon

so today I didn't get around to the update I said I would get to on facebook, but I was busy this afternoon with avon stuff and my doctors appointment. it is very detailed, so after my test tomorrow I will update on both..

stay tuned......

P.S. I did get blood work one today, so we should have those results back in a few days.

A Book worth Reading.......

so I am not sure how many of you out there are readers, and I am not sure how many of you have heard of a musician by the name of paul cardall, but he wrote an outstanding book that I just got done reading today. I started reading it two days ago and could not put it down it was so good! I suggest you buy it and read it, you will not put it down once you have picked it up. it is available on amazon.com, and it is also available at deseret book, and segull book, but Amazon.com has the cheapest price.

I reallly recommend this book to anyone out there, it is a very uplifting book. for more information about paul cardall and his inspirational story you may visit his blog at http://beforemyheartstops.blogspot.com/ he is one inspirational man who has been through so much, but has so much to offer and teach us.

I don't read many books, but this one was good and I loved it! I am going to read another one my neighbor gave me and see how long it takes me to finish it.

P.S. the title of Paul Cardall's book is titled "Before my Heart Stops" very Amazing! there are no words to describe how good his book is. you will just have to read it for yourself and see what I mean....

400th post / a couple things from the other day

so the other day my mom and I had my aunt Joanne and her husband john over for dinner and a movie and had a great time. well while we were having dinner we were having a discussion about my cupcakes, since I make the best cupcakes in the world! anyone who has had them from me knows that, and my home made frosting too...

anyway, so we got talking about how I should take them to people, like people in hospitals, or to a homeless shelter, etc. but first I need to set up my own website, and get people who would want to help me by maybe donating items such as cake mixes, or even money so I could go get the items to make the cupcakes.

in the next little while I will have a separate blog for my cupcakes up and running and I will list all the separate ingredients needed for the different cupcakes I have made that have turned out, then you can decide wither you would like to donate cash for the item, or wither you would like to donate the item it self.

also on my cupcakre blog, I will have a "donate" button on the side, if you would like to donate any funds to my account for the items.

thank you so much for your support!

Kandice

my thought's

this past sunday my mom and I attended my aunts ward, and went to all of her meetings. I thought it was such a wonderful experience, and my aunts lesson was wonderful. I still can't get her lesson out of my head. her lesson in relief society was on fasting, and having a purpose to fast.

as I sit here and think of everyone around me, my mom my aunt, the people who have been ill, and most importantly the people who need us to fast for them the most, the ones who may be suffering from a terminal illness such as cancer, or maybe a heart deffect.

we all need to have a purpose to fast for, and it is very important. last week I went to visit my neighbor next door, and she had mentioned that her son-in-law who has cancer is not doing very well, and since then, their family has been on my mind, because I know what it is like to lose someone to cancer, wither their sons-in-law cancer is getting worse or not, I do not know, but I do hope that he will be cured one day.

today while I was at work, an overwhelming feeling came over me that I should call or go over and see my neighbors soon, I need to check and see how their son-in-law is doing. I don't know why I go this feeling today, but I know there must be a reason, and I will soon find this out. maybe I was supposed to hear that lesson last sunday for a reason, and prompted, by the spirit for a reaso, which is yet unknown.

this week I have been reading Paul Cardalls blog, and he is a true inspiration, he has some touching posts on there from the past few days about his friend who is suffering from severe heart failure. to see his blog go to http://beforemyheartstops.blogspot.com/ the post I read today, is a lot of the reason for this post. his post almost brought me to full tears. very heart wrenching.

there are just so many people out there suffering, and we may not notice it, because to us they look fine on the outside, but on the inside the pain and suffering is so much more. please take a moment and think of someone, that you could fast for this week who is suffering, who may have cancer, who may have an uncurable heart condition, who may only have a few weeks left to live because of a terminal cancer. you may help in some small way, and bless their lives without even knowing it.

doing my research

so lately I have been doing a lot of research on the different problems that could be wrong with me. I have searched "symptoms of hyatal hernias", "symptoms of GERD", "Symptoms of throat cancer", you name it, I have searched for it.

I have also searched for treatments for hiatal hernias, and for GERD, and they are both surgical treatments. so they could require a long hospital stay, or a long LOA from work.

however, I am determined to find out what I have, and cure it. I am getting tired of not being able to eat in peace, and having to clear my throat numerous times at dinner, or belching, for no reason. I am just plain tired of it. I have been dealing with it since the picture above was taken in July of 2010! and that is WAY TOO LONG!! if you ask me!!

a lot of times I just avoid eating during the day because it is a pain, and it takes way too long to do, and plus I would be learing my throat after every bite! it is so insaine, so my only solution is to eat one meal a day and only suffer once a day.

I am getting frustrated, because I can't eat a little faster, and I have to eat very slow, and I have to drink a glass of milk so slow, it is so frustrating!!! I know that there are some people out there dealing with a lot worse things than me, but now my throat, and esophagus are starting to hurt, and it is scaring me. because if GERD is left untreated it can lead to cancer, and that is something I do not want to get. because that is worse to try to treat than GERD it self.

well I have another post from earlier today in the works, so I will post that probably tomorrow.

Prescription problems, insurance issues, and wal-mart

so the other day I went to go refil a seizure mediczation of mine only to fine out that I was going to be paying $ 350.00 for it and that it was not longer covered by my insurance company. so after a long talk with my pharmacy, and calling around to other pharmacies, we decided to switch me over to the generic FOR NOW!

now for the insurance part. i called my insurance company and they explained to me that I could file an appeals claim for the medication with my doctor so that my insurance will cover the name brand topapax medication. I have been on the name brand since last April, and haven't had any different since then. so they are going to mail me out the forms and then it should take about 3 weeks for me to appeal this case!

now for the wal-mart part of this post. I heard that wal-mart switched to a new insurance plan or something, and they no longer want to cover all of us expensive sickies that work for them just to suck them and use them for their insurance. that is all wal-mart is good for, nothing else, everything else they suck at and they are totally on my crap list as far as I am concerned, they were number one on that long ago!

so this just gives me one more reason to find a better job, with better insurance coverage that will cover ALL OF MY PRESCRIPTIONS! be thankful that you are not a sick person with health issues, because if you are then you sure pay for it!

man I am just a little overwhelmed, and tomorrow I plan on calling the two places I applied at a while ago to see where they are at with my applications and with their decision in hiring me. I sure would love a different job!

I feel a little better now. maybe I will go unwind somemore and get some good rest tonight, and I know tomorrow is going to be a great day! because it is going to be spent at home!! thank goodness for days off!!

eating and such

so since I have had my last scope last august and my esophagus was dialated I have been able to eat, and swallow things okay; but recently it always takes me an hour at dinner time to eat say two peices of toast, scrambled eggs, and three peices of sausage, or longer, and then about another half an hour to get my glass of milk down after I have taken my pills for the evening.

This is getting to be a real joke! I mean who takes an hour to eat a small meal like that, and who takes a half an hour to drink an 8 ounce glass of milk? it's rediculous???? and I am always clearing my throat.

I have done some major googling and research, and it seems that I am having more GERD symptoms, and issues with that. when I had my first scope in July I was given a medication to help with that, and so far it has not been helping too much. sometimes it ddoes and sometimes it doesn't. and recently my GERD symptoms have come back, plus with a few new ones!

so what are we looking at now? who knows, maybe another bunch of doctors appointments, but the only other last solution I am going to see about doing is surgery to fix this problem once and for all. I am so tired of this, and I want relief!

I don't even know where this GERD came from, so I want to get rid of it! I am so tired of having to eat slow, and take my time, and then have my mom wonder if I am okay because I am taking so long to eat. I mean it is good she worries about me, but ealmost every night I get asked at least once if I am okay (which I guess it is better than not being asked at all) I love my mom for caring so much to ask me if I am okay. I am so glad she does. she is the best!

I just hope to find a solution, and a permanent one this time to this problem once and for ALL!!