Spring Semester 2017

I have had a feeling I should write for a while now. I just finished my third spring semester in college. this past semester I learned so much about myself. I learned that I understand information differently than others in my class. I can remember one particular day when I was in class and we were suppose to read in groups, one group of students was prepared and the other was not; I was in with the unprepared students that day. I can remember as the student was reading the article that I was not even comprehending anything that was being read, the reason for this was because she was reading in a monotone voice with no expression. I got up and grabbed my belongings and headed for a quiet place to work.

at the end of the semester on the last day of class I cried because of all I went through to get to that moment. I realized that I proved everyone wrong who thought I couldn't do it, but I came out on top. I might have to work differently, but I always get my work done.

there were numerous times I wanted to give up during the semester, but because my instructor could see my true potential I kept going. he saw my writing abilities and my strengths and what I was good at. he always focused on what I could do instead of what I couldn't do. he always pushed me to do more, to try harder, to think deeper, to do better.

I learned that I could understand so much more if I just take the time to really understand material. I put more time into this semester than I ever have in my schooling to understand the work I am doing. I now understand how to effectively write a narrative, or even a synthesis. my appreciation for literature has grown this semester and my desire to keep learning is never ending.

I am so grateful to my instructor Jason Roberts for all the time he spent with me this spring, to expand my understanding, and for his encouragement and guidance and for inspiring me to become a better writer.

this picture was taken in 2015, at the end of the Spring 2015 school year. his father was my institute teacher for a short time, and he was an amazing teacher as well. Jason suggested I take his dads class, and I am glad I did because they were the best classes!!

Leaving the past behind

not many people know that I have struggled with my weight since I was 6 years old. it all started when I was switched to an Anti-seizure medication called tegretol, add 13 years later, and a stressful job, and a bunch of other events in the mix and I gained weight. if i really went into detail about the main reason why I gained weight many of you would not understand it....who knows, maybe I am wrong? anyway all that is important is that I am getting control of my life again.

after many years of struggling with my weight, which was caused by my tegretol, due to it's effect on my thyroid I gained over 100 pounds. I do not even remember being below 200 pounds. all I remember is being teased in Elementary school really bad because of how I looked, and I was called names I choose not to repeat on here.

after many years of all that pain I went through growing up, and what I went through at walmart, it feels good to let go of the past and move forward! this weekend and past few weeks I have been cleaning out my closet and I didn't realize how much I actually do not fit into now until it all went into bags! and the reason none of it fits is because it is all too big!! since beginning this Journey in January I have lost 63 pounds!! this for me is a HUGE! accomplishment.

I am not posting any pictures of me for a while longer, and who knows, maybe you will see me in a magazine!!

here are the many bags of clothes I am getting rid of!! 8 bags!!!! and more will come in the coming months!!!

Here is a picture of me back in October of 2015, just before I went through the temple, many people can already see a difference in my appearance, most importantly I can feel the difference in more ways than one!!

I will update again soon, maybe by December with a picture!!

a few thoughts

a few months ago, I went and saw a doctor my mom sees, and he specializes in hormone replacement therapy. it was not until after I went to him that I found out that I was not in good condition in many areas. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and meeting with Dr. Jones I learned a lot of new things about myself I never even knew before. like why I can't seem to lose weight very easily? I found out my body is insulin resistant, and that because of the bad foods I was eating, like even 10 years ago that is what has caused my body to be this way.

I remember when I was in high school I would eat crap, and I regret it now more than ever, although it is never too late to change our habits. I always remember one teacher telling me I was going to be a diabetic one day because of the way I ate, and I never listened to him. I should have though, because insulin resistance is almost as bad as being a diabetic.

I have changed my ways dramatically, and am eating more healthier than I did 10 years ago, and even as recent as a year ago. if I were to go to my school today I would not buy a bag of M&M's or even something in the food court, I would bring something from home, and in my free time at the school I would make sure I am exercising. my mindset has changed. I am in this for the long run. I am going to get in the best shape, better than I have been in a long time. my body won't even know how to act being in good shape.

the reason I do not share any recent pictures of me is 1). I do not like how I look right now and 2). I am waiting until I am below the number I am at right now before I post any good pictures. when I feel good about myself, then there will be more pictures of me in front of the camera instead of behind the camera!

I have 11 weeks until I want to see where I am at and if I have met one of my goals, I will definitely update before then.

Protected

today I was outside with bentley like I always do, and I was just turning around to walk home when all of a sudden a huge dog which looked like a pit-bull came out of no where and started attacking bentley. I started screaming, and before he could really get bentley I pulled bentley up by his harness and held him in the air. I screamed for the kids to get their vicious dog away from bentley.....I do not know how long the encounter lasted but as soon as it was over I fell to my knees and embraced bentley and started to cry. I was so grateful that he was okay and that he was protected from this scary dog.

I was by myself, and this lady came up on me when she saw me sitting there crying holding bentley. I explained to her what had just happened. she was very nice and walked me home. I shook the whole way. it took me at least a few hours to settle down after that awful encounter, but I am grateful that I was being watched over.

since receiving my endowments I have seen many blessings in my life, and today was a huge blessing because bentley is safe and was not hurt, and I was not hurt either. heavenly father was watching over me today. I said a prayer of gratitude for watching over bentley and I because I know that without my heavenly fathers help we would not have been safe.

picture for my temple invitations from last year

Post Surgery Appointment

Today I had my post Surgery appointment for my eye surgery and my doctor was very pleased with how my eye looks. I am still having a few issues with how objects look like words in my textbooks; they look like they are stacked on top of each other and objects far away are blurry. right now it just hurts my eye to be in areas that have bright lights, and I can't look at objects like computer screens or TV's for too long. all of these things will go away eventually over time.

the first few days were just a little tough with the pain, but since then I have not taken any pain medications or anything. I am pretty tough when it comes to tolerating pain. this is now my third eye surgery and my mom and I both hope that it lasts just as long as the previous two which were between 12 and 12 years and 1 month between each one, so we hope I won't ave to have surgery on my other eye for some time or the left eye won't go out of place.

my eye looks pretty good for being out of surgery for a week today. it is just a little red. the redness is starting to get better. I will try to add a picture to this post later. I actually have some pictures from early on, and one as recent as last night that I took.

have a great evening!

so I have decided that with each post I do this year I will add a different picture at the end. by the end of the year I think it will be neat to see how many different pictures I have come up with. in the fall I hope to take a photography class so then there will be even more fun photos!!

Thoughts on Grandma

as I was reading through some of my previous blog posts on here I couldn't help but ponder a few things. one post was written some time in 2008 and it was about my grandma. during that time my grandma was not doing too well, and she was being fed by the way of a feeding tube. on this particular day she was at my house and wanted to watch movies with me all day that day. what I would give to be able to watch one more movie with her or read one more book to her.

in the post I wrote that I had told her I was all movied out, and that I was tired of watching movies. I wondered if she was tired of watching movies. my grandma loved watching shows such as touched by an angel, the andy grifith show, etc. so TV never got old to her. back then in 2008 I was only 20, so I was young and not really in any mood for wanting to watch TV with my grandma.

fast forward to 2010, and when my grandma became ill and ended up in a nursing home I was by her side every day until she passed away. in those two years I realized that watching as many movies as she wanted didn't even matter anymore, because she couldn't even watch the TV. I was having to read her books and play her music and interact with her in a way that I felt she could know I was there. my perspective of spending time with my grandma changed, I relished every second with my grandma. my only regret is that I never. gave her a hug or said I love you the night we left before she passed away.

I know that my grandma loves me though, and I have been shown that through experiences in my life, and I am grateful she can always be a part of me. I was one of her special grand children. I was the 21st grand child born on the 21st of August in 1987!! none of her other grandchildren will ever share that bond with her.

I think the time I got to spend with her before she passed away was so special. although I learned some hard things at a young age, I think it has helped prepare me for who I am today. I think having to take care of my grandma in the ways that I have has prepared me to want to work in the field I am choosing to study. I love working with people and caring for people, and it has shown. when my grandma would have to be fed, I would always be willing to put her food in her bag and hook her up. not many people know how to do that at the age of 20.

my grandma was such an amazing, talented, strong willed, forgiving, non-judgmental human being. I hope one day I can be more like her. she was one of the best. I just love my grandma and will be forever grateful for the time I was able to spend with her. I know she would be so proud of me and where I am today!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I Know I have taken a lot of time off from this blog, but that will change. I am planning on trying to blog at least once a week, or at least twice a month. since I began school in 2014 everything has been crazy! I have not had a chance to really slow down. I am hoping this summer to have a nice break and my mom and I can enjoy ourselves and do something fun!

some things that have changed since I last updated:

1. my foot is 100% back to normal, and life couldn't be any more crazy than it is.

2. my mom and I had to put my kitty down this past august, the day after I started school (that was tough on both of us)

3. my mom adopted mimi

4. I went through the temple for the first time for myself (that was an amazing experience) and I had a lot of support from family and friends!

5. at the end of 2015 my mom and I found out that I need another eye surgery!! this will be my third eye surgery in my life! my second eye surgery in 12 years!

I am really excited to set some new goals for this year (2016) and write in my journal more! I have already started this today, I just hope I can keep it up!

have a great night everyone! I will write more soon!

A New Beginning....And The Movie Frozen!

I don't have a lot to write about, but I will write about some things that I last left off on in my last post. I have now been in school since January 13, 2014. I have had my share of instructors to go through in this short time, but I have finally found the right ones that are going to work for me. I am Taking Writing, Reading and Sociology.
Sociology seems to be my toughest subject in school right now, and reading is the easiest, and writing I am playing catch up in, but I am getting there. I switched from one instructor to another in almost the middle of the term, but my first class I wasn't learning anything in. with my new writing instructor I have learned more in the short time that I have been in her class than I ever did in my other class, and I do like her class a lot.
since I broke my foot my foot has healed up nicely, I no longer go to physical therapy. I got let go from walmart, which I knew would happen because I was not able to return to work because I can not stand on my foot for long periods of time like I use to be able to. but that's okay, I am busy with school and I am enjoying that.
next, I took the road test and I failed it. I only failed it because I am unfamiliar with the roads in draper and the driving instructor took me on a road with an intersection that had hardly any lines and that is what caused me to fail it. at least I won't get this rude guy again, and I hope I won't have to do the same route I did. I am also going to try to do my road test through A-1 instead. so there are a few options there.
I actually finished my first book in a long time! the book was Elizabeth Smart: My Story, Amazing book, but it was gut wrenching to hear what Mitchell and Barzee put her through everyday and night. but she had such faith and a positive attitude which I thought was amazing through such a dark time.
so as you can see I changed my cover photo. my new favorite movie is frozen! and I love Olaf! anyone who has not seen frozen you need to go see it, or rent it from redbox! best movie ever!

A new beginning...

I don't have a lot to write about, but I will write about some things that I last left off on in my last post. I have now been in school since January 13, 2014. I have had my share of instructors to go through in this short time, but I have finally found the right ones that are going to work for me. I am Taking Writing, Reading and Sociology.

Sociology seems to be my toughest subject in school right now, and reading is the easiest, and writing I am playing catch up in, but I am getting there. I switched from one instructor to another in almost the middle of the term, but my first class I wasn't learning anything in. with my new writing instructor I have learned more in the short time that I have been in her class than I ever did in my other class, and I do like her class a lot.

since I broke my foot my foot has healed up nicely, I no longer go to physical therapy. I got let go from walmart, which I knew would happen because I was not able to return to work because I can not stand on my foot for long periods of time like I use to be able to. but that's okay, I am busy with school and I am enjoying that.

next, I took the road test and I failed it. I only failed it because I am unfamiliar with the roads in draper and the driving instructor took me on a road with an intersection that had hardly any lines and that is what caused me to fail it. at least I won't get this rude guy again, and I hope I won't have to do the same route I did. I am also going to try to do my road test through A-1 instead. so there are a few options there.

I actually finished my first book in a long time! the book was Elizabeth Smart: My Story, Amazing book, but it was gut wrenching to hear what Mitchell and Barzee put her through everyday and night. but she had such faith and a positive attitude which I thought was amazing through such a dark time.

so as you can see I changed my cover photo. my new favorite movie is frozen! and I love Olaf! anyone who has not seen frozen you need to go see it, or rent it from redbox! best movie ever!

so behind with blogging.....

since I last updated my blog I have been busy doing many things, my mom and I went on a trip to Yellowstone with her boss and his wife and their family, I ditched the boot and got my pins out, and began physical therapy for my foot.

I have also completed my hours for driving and just need to take the road test to get my drivers license, I now have a car.

Bentley my puppy is no longer a "puppy" he will be 1 year old on January 3rd, that is really hard to believe. it has been really fun here with him at home.

I am not working right now, and will be attending SLCC starting January 13, 2014.

I got my invisalign trays and am now on my second set of 22 sets of trays.

I will be writing another post in the next few days with more pictures of our Christmas craft, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!